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Dear MIMsters: Am I Being Fooled By My Husband And His Mistress?

Dear MIMsters: Am I Being Fooled By My Husband And His Mistress?

Am I being fooled by my husband and his mistress? I’ve been married for 4 years now. The first 2 years was hell for us.

About 2 months to our wedding, a lady who had been texting/calling my then fiancĂ© but he claimed was just a friend called him on phone, per their conversation, she was hungry and was waiting for him to buy food for her. I took his phone and called her in his presence. I told her about our marriage plans. She told me she was aware but has decided to hang on cause I texted and insulted her with my fiancĂ©’s phone.

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I apologised to her and explained that I did that cause he told me he didn’t love her but she was the one disturbing him. After marriage, my husband kept calling and seeing her anytime we had a misunderstanding. This made me mad and we quarreled on this issue a lot. He then started sleeping in her house sometimes. I caught him coming out of her house at 4 a.m after leaving our matrimonial home that night for her house.

This went on for 2 years, so I packed my things out. When I went to the lady’s house with my mother in-law to let her know my complains were true, lo and behold he was there. I asked him to choose between me and her, and he chose her in my presence and his mum.

He called begging for me to come back. Called his best friend to also beg on his behalf. He later made a conference call (myself, him, his best friend & the girl) & told the lady it was over and she also accepted. It’s been 14 months now and I only got to know on Monday that they are still in communication.

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Are they fooling me? The sad thing is that I have not been able to conceive again after a miscarriage during our second year of marriage. I need advice on what to do and how to proceed.


View Comments (54)
  • How could you go back to a man who publicly denied you? Have some dignity woman, this man doesn’t love nor respects u!

  • So sad! U can’t chnge a man bcos u love him, a man changes his ways wen he loves a woman, clearly this man doesn’t love u so stop being fooled. If u can cope, continue to b his wife n keep praying for a chnge cos it myt even b dat d oda girl has used some voodoo on him, dats its as if he gets back to his real self sometimes, den weneva she does her thg he goes back to her. Just b prayerful, else blank him like he doesn’t exist, mk urself happy, it cud be he is even d cause of u ttc till now. Just b prayerful even tho it hurts.

  • Dis is so hard. I really dont knw wat to say. Pls go bck to him again let him choose. Or u pack ur tins n leave him. Dis is so sad.

  • Yea,my sista shine ur eyes cos i think u r still being fooled.How on earth culd he choose her ova u even in his moms presence.That shows he hs no respect for u not even an atom.
    Well,my advise if u stil love him,if u were prayin twice a day bf u now hv to double it up n break wateva chain d girl must hv used to connect him.
    While prayin,also let dt his friend who ws involvd in d conference cal to knw ur latest findings.I pray God restores bk peace in ur home.Amen

  • My dear pls if u knw u cnt endure nd share ur man wit his mistress just liv him nw dat u dnt hv a child yet,for a man to choose his mistress in his wife pressence,dnt man dnt value nor hv respect for u,my dear shine ur eye,nd also pray for him

  • Dear its obvious that he is not ment for u that is why u have not been able to concieve.pls move on with ur life

  • I cant tolorate all that o.U caught them again and still ask whatvto do?I think u av already decided.

  • Yes! they are fooling u and u know what? you fooled yourself by going back to him after he publicly denied u — in the presence of his mother…. God will help you o. the ball is in your court……… play it well

  • Hhhmmm,your story is so pathetic.please leave that marriage for gud.before u know it that woman wil have baby for your husband and there is nothing you can do about it becouse they are both fooling you.that man wants you to die before your time becouse if you start thinking about all this everyday its dangerous to your health and in this kind of marriage baby wil not even bother to come becouse you are enduring and not enjoying dat marriage.Get a divorce and life a happy life henceforth and babies will locate you.

  • Denying me publicly is d height of it,he can get d gal to say anytn jst to make u come bck,no matter wat we tell u,it ll not stop u frm doing wot u want to,so search ur mind

  • He doesn’t love nor respect you. Think about yourself and stop living for him. If you must pray for him, pls do it from afar. I doubt if he would ever change..

  • Why are u so naĂŻve or did u choose not to read btw d lines?.evert relationship has its ups & downs buy u must noy combine stupidity wt submisiveness! A Word is enough for the wise

  • Pls quit before you loose your life over thinking, that man doesn’t worth it. It can only take time you will still see someone that love you for real.sorry i really feel for you.

  • My dear you are being fooled.Can’t you see that he doesn’t value and respect you?What are you still doing with that man?

  • He/they are still fooling u n dnt think getting pregnant will change him.u still picked his nonsense call after d public denial?u really tried but jst know it takes 2 to make a relationship work.stop flogging a dead horse.d other lady has his heart n u have his name

  • Divorce that fool you are far much better without him.A man that has no regards for his wife

  • The handwriting is clearly written on the wall. I guess you are fighting a lost battle. Better leave them to themselves and forge ahead.

  • Its a good thing you’ve not even had a child for the idiot! Divource him onc and for alll noonsense #imsopissed

  • Wht r u stil doin wit him? Abeg divorce him nd move on wit ur life, he is nt meant for u.

  • OMG ! Am so angry with you cos you sound so intelligent from ur write up so I wonder what should b making u go back to that poor excuse of a suspecting this guy got married to u under duress from the mum& u did not add that, he probably told d lady he does not love you but is in d marriage for now bc of what he can siphon from u.the red flag has been there since even b4 the marriage but u chose to stay there. Pls leave that man alone he is not ur husband. No matter what you have spent on him it can’t b more than ur dignity. No lady shld ever share her man even if it’s just dating not to talk of in marriage (except ur religion allows that) leave now bc d next thing is that the other lady will come to throw ur things out& ur so called hubby wl sit back& b watching her

    • To ur question yes they are both fooling u.they are using u as their milk sure u r a very rich woman who the guy’s mum arranged the marriage.check well& u wl see they are both married. Once they get all they need from you they wl dump u that’s if u r lucky to be left alive

  • I am stupefied. …this is not rocket science for crying out loud!
    Lady, dem take something hold you? Love may b blind, but certainly not deaf, dumb nor crippled. ..
    better pack ur load and go. You are just being used by a selfish, spineless man..

  • Divorce his sorry ass. When you think of whether you deserve better, it will fuel you with the courage you need to get over it. Sorry

  • Pls just leave that man and move on cos yes they are fooling and using u. Ur worth more than that sorry ass of a man who rejected u in front of his mistress and mum. It’s even better u don’t have a child with him cos with that u will want to endure, so dear send him a divorce letter fast and move on with ur life. All the best.

  • Madam u don”t need to be told..Dat man and his galfrnd sees u as a big Fool. Like seriously hw culd u even return back to dat house after d man made a mockery of u by choosing d oda lady over u?? He doesn’t respect, regard or love u. Ur even lucky ur nt with a child yet so don’t even think twice abt leaving. Just pack all ur belongings and leave dat Nigga.

  • You made the biggest mistake by going back to him after he choose the girl in your very presence and his mums’ it shows he has no single respect for you and his mother. They are fooling you big time, I’m sure the conference call was planned. Divorce him and move on, you deserve better pls.

  • He doesn’t love nor respect. Ur happiness nd life comes first. Nd u ar nt getting of dat wit dat man. It’s beta to b alone wit God nd b happy , Dan to b wit dat man nd b unhappy

  • You don’t need an advice, all you need to do is step aside and enjoy yor life cos you only got one to live. How can you tie your destiny to that of a man that doesn’t give a horse shit about you?

  • First this is an advice for those who are not yet married, please before u get into any marriage first seek the face God and his divine direction, secondly this is for my sister please,,, please,,,,, don’t live your husband for any reasons,pray to your farther in heaven nothing is too big or had for him to do, engaged you’re self in serving God in the church with an open heart and you see what Lord will do for and if your not going to church please look for 1 and start attending . read this scripture ( john 14;14) (Phil 4;6)

  • By choosing his mistress over you is enough to make you understand he doesn’t love you.the best thing to do is to forget about him and move on.

  • My dear, the fault is all yours. You saw the warning signals before marriage and you overlooked them. It is obvious the man doesn’t love you so I advice you leave him for GOOD. And for those telling her to continue praying, my dear, prayer doesn’t work without actions sometimes. Just Leave!!!

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