Dear MIMsters: I’m Pregnant Again and I Do Not Want My Mother-in-law to Come For Omugwo
I’m pregnant again and I do not want my mother-in-law to come for omugwo (early post natal child and maternal care).
I had issues coping with my mother-in-law when I had my first child because she made life a living hell for me. It was so bad that I almost ran mad and everyone thought I was just being paranoid. No one understood that I was depressed. I didn’t even know what was wrong with me as there was no emotional support from my hubby and his mum.
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She turned my husband and I against each other and was always telling my hubby that giving birth to a baby doesn’t make me handicapped because I was unable to wash his clothes. This was barely 2 weeks after I put to bed.
She worsened the situation by telling me to follow her to the village where she can continue her Omugwo. I had to put my feet down and refused to go with her as I wasn’t comfortable around her. I was called many names and reported to my family. They were even going to force me to go with her until I fell ill and was taken to the hospital. She later told me that that was my saving grace and that next time I have a baby, she will make sure I come to the village to deliver my baby.
I singlehandedly nursed my baby without issues when she left. My baby was 3 weeks old then.
Now, I’m pregnant with my second child now and due in 8 weeks and I’m dreading her visit already. The troubles she caused in my home the last time still lingers in my memory. My big question is: how do I get my MIL her off my back? I really don’t need her around. How do I pass the message across without hurting my husband? Pls advise me.
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The truth is my MIL is not helpful at all during her visits. Even as the new mum that I was, she still expected me to cook for her and do the house chores. My mum is late and my elder sisters claim they don’t want to drag the Omugwo with her. What should I do then?
U don’t need anyone to do anything for u if u hv the strength to handle ur baby. For my first son, i had an auntie who came to handle my baby in the mornings and evenings for 3weeks. I took over without any problem. For my second and third boys, I handled them from day one without any help from a family member or househelp…. Note: the 2nd and 3rd boys I had to go under the knife but that didn’t stop me at all. U can do it if u want to.