Raising Up Your Child In Style From A – Z (Part 1)

By Ineh Olisah

What does STYLE mean to you?

Fashion and beauty is great, lifestyles decorated with posh cars and houses are fabulous. For us at MIS, style transcends beyond the display of wealth and an expression of all the good things money can buy. What you own or see on the outside isn’t all that there is to style. Style isn’t just all summed up in material things, it’s a lot more than that. We believe it’s an expression of one’s self-image and self-concept reflected in character, that quality that makes one distinct and unique. One’s true style is reflected in his character, choices, personality and mannerisms. It is expressed in both leisure and work behavioural patterns. It can be AFFORDABLE, it doesn’t always have to be expensive, but the lack of it could be. So, beyond all the glitz and glamour, how do we get to instil REAL STYLE in our children? Instilling this will even give more meaning to the glitz and glamour most people believe is all that defines style.

ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Instil into your child the importance of always asking for permission whenever he or she wants to do something or use something that another person is responsible for. Let your child know that asking for permission always shows his respect for others and increases the chances of his request being granted. It doesn’t matter how little the item is, you must ask for permission!

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BATH TIME

Note, I said bath, not shower. We often mix up bathing and showering. These are two different activities, although they both involve getting cleaned. Bath time can be a very relaxing and exciting time for both parents and children. For children, having a wide range of toys for the bath keeps them happy in water. Parents however could add some fragrance oils in the water, turn off the electricity, and light up some candles. If possible, have soft music playing.

CUTLERY

Teach your child proper use of cutlery from as early as 4 years old. This is done by showing your child by example. If he or she sees you eating with a fork and knife, soon, you’ll find her imitating you. Except with finger foods, stick to cutlery. She may not be perfect initially, but will definitely improve with time.

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DISCIPLINE

This isn’t the same as punishment. It doesn’t in any way mean that a child should be seen and not be heard. It means constantly guiding your child to do the right thing even when he doesn’t want to.

EXPRESSION

Children can be infuriating, exhausting, and a downright nuisance when they overreact to life’s little setbacks. Children are like that. They seem to time their dramatic performances for the most inconvenient time for their audience. Nevertheless, these “small” events are important to them. Don’t try to get a child to stuff her feelings. When a child is upset, sit back, look into her eyes, and give her time and space to express herself. Resist the urge to unload your reaction- anger, judgement, logic. Your child is not in a receptive frame of mind to receive any of these. Feeling stuffers give the child the message that you are not accepting of her emotions, and cause the child to clam up. It’s a lose-lose situation. The child loses the ability to express himself, learns not to open up to you and distance envelops your relationship.

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FUN

Raise your child with so much fun even in difficult situations. As much as possible, make every learning process fun and not tedious. Let him learn to look at the positive sides of everything. It helps him develop a sense of humour. Remember to maintain a positive mood yourself when dealing with your children because it reflects on them.

GOAL ORIENTATION

Being able to plan and achieve goals is a high level and vital skill. Start small. Let his goals be realistic and achievable. For example, you can get him to save for a small project or for Christmas gifts for family and friends. Encourage your child to have goals and help him plan to achieve them. This helps to prepare him for the competitive world of work. All children have goals (not necessarily the same ones), and all can be successful in their chosen areas.

This article was first published in the Print Issue of Motherhood In-Style Magazine