Why Marriage is Not a Priority for Fashion Entrepreneur, Toyin Lawani

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In a recent interview with Thisday newspapers, Beauty and Fashion entrepreneur, Toyin Lawani, 36, CEO of Tiannah Empire Place, opines that marriage, for her, is not a priority.

According to the single mom-of-2 who says she’s been married only once and that she walked out of that one marriage because she wanted more for herself, “if a man loves you he will support you and push you to greatness.”

Read excepts from the interview below.

READ BELOW: ”Married Women in This Part of the World Sacrifice the Most”- Toyin Lawani

Who is Toyin Lawani?

“She is a mother and a business mogul with over 30 enterprises under one roof. I was born into a royal family. My grandmother was the Adele-Oba of Ikoyi, Ikole Ekiti. My grandfather, Elijah Babalola, was the Minister of Works in the old western region. My mom who died in 2007 was a super entrepreneur who did almost practically everything that I am doing now. I actually learnt under her tutelage. My late mom sold gold, cars and even had a store in the United States at a time. It is sad that she is no more. She taught me to be a business mogul.”

When a man succeeds he is praised. But when a woman succeeds she is accused of using ‘bottom power’. How do you think women can change the narrative?

“Women like me make people change their minds and work hard. People tell me how I inspire them and how watching Tiannah Empire Reality Show has changed their lives. Most men feel that they are the breadwinners and most of the time when women succeed on their own they still ascribe that success to men – which is not true. Believe me, women sometimes are the one pulling themselves down by making snide remarks that there must be a man pumping money for their fellow women to succeed or achieve this or that. I will say to women out there that want to chase their dreams to forge on regardless of marriage because if a man loves you he will support you and push you to greatness.”

What are your fears?

“Obviously, fear of failure because if you maintain the standards you have created for yourself you don’t want to fail. Life is a struggle. So we have to work hard every day. You have to maintain your finance and household otherwise one can crash suddenly.”

You have had your fair share of scandals. How do you handle them particularly those that are not true?

“Most times it is always very painful when you read things about yourself that are not true. And you know you work very hard to inspire others and people choose to give you a bad name. Most times I feel like addressing them especially the ones that have to do with my children. Most people don’t put their kids out there. But I put mine out there because they are destined for greatness. They have their own talent for acting, music, etc. And if they grow up and say that is what they want to do I will give them my blessing. Like I said earlier, I respond to those that have to do with my kids. I can only urge people not to believe everything they read on the internet which can either be negative or positive. To answer your question, scandals don’t get to me. And what you say about people does not define them.”

But on many occasions the scandals are self-inflicted. Like when you said marriage is not a priority.

“Yes. I repeat it marriage is not a priority. Most people feel like those who are single mums like me are cursed or we’re not to be respected. I speak to several families and even have people that I impact their lives. Do you know how many salaries that I pay every month? Some men cannot do that. I pay almost 100 people salary every month. Then you will now tell me that because you are married you’re better than me. You that are in your husband’s house and being fed and at the same time being slapped every day. If you are contributing to that family do you think they will be slapping you every day? We all learn from experience. I have been married before but because I wanted something more for myself I was able to leave the marriage and chase my dreams.”

But there was a rumour that the father of your son, Lord Trigg, proposed and marriage was in the offing before it fizzled out.

“I have only been married once in my life. I decided to leave the second relationship because it wasn’t working for me. I have shown him (Lord Trigg) severally that we can co-parent without being enemies.”

People thought the relationship failed due to the huge age difference between you two. Is that correct?

“It is not because of the age difference. Age has never been a problem between us. Can’t you see how sexy I look? Do you think any man would see me and wouldn’t want to die? Oh my God! We were both in love. It wasn’t even a societal pressure. But a personal decision because it wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I have learnt my lesson that when I have anything coming up I am not going to put it in the press.”

If Mr. Right shows up, will you consider marriage again?

“Why not? So far that Mr. Right is going to help me achieve my dreams, supports me in my late night work etc. You know what? It is even hard for some people to support your dream because they feel you are supposed to be a mum, stay at home breast-feeding (babies). I played my role well as a wife. I cooked for him and took care of my home. I make sure that I do everything but he has to support my passion, if that is what will give me joy. But most men want their wives to stay at home and just be a mum. I have exposed my children to my business and I take them along. My daughter knows everything that I do. I can be so intimidating. I have been with someone who is far richer than me and I have been with someone that I am far richer than.”

You set the internet on fire recently with a semi-nude photo you in a bathtub posted online. Why did you go to that extent to advertise a beauty product?

“If I didn’t do that how do I convince my customers that the product is working? That wasn’t a nude photograph. Did you not see my hands across my chest with my products in-between? Just small thing and everybody was shouting. You know I schooled abroad where I learnt about beauty. I am very exposed and don’t see it as a big deal. Meanwhile, when Beyoncé does it they will be hailing her – or even Rihanna. People should just go and sit down because they are hypocrites.”

You mean you don’t have any regrets?

What regrets? I am making money. You better look out for my next photographs. When people see my skin sparkling come and see the way they rush to get my products. I use strictly Tiannah Beauty Glow products. I don’t joke with my herbal magic polish. My black soap, my scrub –everything is Tiannah’s Glow.

Then you have tattoos in strategic places.

“Yes. They are my children’s names and I carry them everywhere I go.”

Who are your role models?

“My role model is my mum, Atinuke Babalola. She is late. She believed if you had passion for something and you put your heart into it you would make it.”

What’s your philosophy?

“Whatever you do in life be honest – do it with an open heart. Don’t fake your life because you are listening to the society. Stop living your life to impress people. Again, don’t trust people and open your eyes before you choose your friends.”