Do I need to understand him better OR just walk away?
Thank you for this great platform where we can share our issues. I must say I’ve learnt a lot from this platform. I’m sorry this is a long read.I just want to seek advice concerning the relationship I’m in right now, though it’s almost crashing as we both don’t almost agree on anything. We have argued on almost everything and we don’t seem to reach an agreement. He has this fixed and archaic mindset on how things ought to be, not flexible. I guess it’s his ego.
We had a fight one time, after I accepted my mistake and said I was sorry, expecting him to do the same, he sent me a very long article on men’s ego and how women should learn to deal with it. Can you imagine?
We have been together for two years now and though he’s a kind person and all, he has compared me to almost 10 other women since we started dating and I’m not finding it funny. From how respectful his ex was and knelt down before him and how she was always quiet in front of him, to how his sister-in-law is so sacrificial and to how his mum is always quiet in front of his father and how they don’t argue at all.
Whenever we have issues, he’d be quick to say how one or two of his female friends have been there for him plus other things that time won’t permit me to mention.
I am someone who likes ironing out issues so we can enter the marriage with understanding and can both be on the same page. But he likes sweeping issues under the carpet all in the name of avoiding arguments and says I talk too much. He then enters into his ignoring mode (silent treatment) and I’m usually the one to come around first until recently when I got tired of the whole matter, as I’ve had it up to here.
I’ve met his family and they’re wonderful people and whenever I think of ending the relationship, I think about them and how they’d feel but mehn, this is my life. I can’t live with a man who would always compare me with everyone and make me feel like I’m never good enough for him.
I’m not perfect but I just don’t like being compared to anyone else as it makes me feel less of myself. After all these issues, he has been trying to come around but I’ve been shutting him out as I know that if I give in again, he’d be back to his old ways and won’t change. I’ve spoken to my family and they’re behind any decision I make. I’m not sure I want to continue. I want to know if I am making a mistake and just need to understand him better OR just walk away.