Dear MIMsters: Am I Right To Put These Restrictions On My Son’s Father?

I am heartbroken and in need of words of encouragement. Am I right to put these restrictions on my son’s father?

I have a son with my guy with whom I am not officially married to. He lives with his mom where I usually visit most times. Both my family and his family are in good terms. All seemed to be well between us until when my fiancé suddenly visited me at my home to tell me that he is no longer willing to push further for marriage with me.

I asked if I have wronged him. He says no, and that it’s only our three year old son who is the only thing existing between us. Mummies, I am shocked and still in shock. He drove off without even saying hi to my mom at her shop which he usually does when he comes around.

Even though I am in pain, so many things have been running through my mind. In pain and anger, I told him not to step a foot in my house anymore to visit his son. I told him that he should also forget that he has his blood somewhere because I shall change the boy’s name to mine and he should also not bother to send him money.

Mummies, I am saying all these because I can’t stand the pain of seeing him doing all these when I cannot marry him because he does not want me. I want to be alone. Alone, I want to be. It’s not my wish, but I want to forget him entirely from my life. Note: he is not financially supporting me because he lost his job. His mom is supporting him to earn a Masters’ for more job opportunities.

My family is not pressuring him because they know he was supportive when he was employed and we are all praying for the good times to come again. I have been the one paying my son’s tuition with the help of my mom.

He told me that we should break up months ago when I visited them. I thought this was out of frustration due to his unemployment state. I even told his mom about it and she also said it could be frustration and that I should not mind him and she would talk to him just to hear this same heartbreaking story from him again. All he told me was that he doesn’t want to cheat on me so he thinks it’s better I leave this way. I just feel like dying.

Like I have suggested, should I stop him from doing any of the things that I mentioned above? Would there be any future consequences? Please help me, I am sad.