Aisha Babaginda, the first daughter of former military president, Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida aka IBB has given a rare recount of the collapse of her two marriages and dealing with the shame that came after.
It will be recalled that Aisha in 2003 got married to Basheer Nalabo Garba, but the marriage collapsed within three years over accusations of arrogance, lack of submission and an overbearing attitude.
A few years after leaving Basheer, the businesswoman and humanitarian found love again in the arms of a much older man, Alhaji Aliyu Shinkafi, a former governor of Zamfara State. According to information gathered, Aisha willfully went into the marriage as the governor’s third wife.
Aisha would however meet with outright enmity in Shinkafi’s home especially from the two older wives after he made her the first lady of the state. Shortly after, the union crashed.
In an emotional speech at the SHE FORUM AFRICA conference held at Sheraton hotel, Abuja recently, Aisha, who is a mother spoke candidly about her failed marriages.
”So I grew up with my parents seeing them working, devoting themselves selflessly to people, making sure they were all okay. So here I am, suddenly divorced and I had a little baby. I had the biggest wedding anybody will ever have.
You can all remember that. I got divorced and I was thinking that I have shamed my parents and the people that invested in coming to my wedding, those that came from far away.
How do I now look at everyone of these people and face them? So I prayed to God to get me married quickly which was another big mistake because I thought I needed to do this now, because this is what I know.
I grew up with the mother, strongest woman you can imagine. I saw her literally feeding my father, looking after him, serving him, if that exists. Naturally, I’m going to follow that. So how did my marriage break up, if I was doing right, If I saw what my mother was doing?
So I got married again. Story number two. My mother now dies and she left this legacy, Better Life. This is a legacy that touched every human being’s life.
So she died. Another embarrassment came to me… because here I am now, leaving another life being a married woman and not realizing that in a marriage you can be interdependent. In other words, I can still be married and still nurture this man and still do what I am brought to this world to do. I didn’t realise that.
So she’s no longer here. Suddenly, my second marriage goes down hill, instantly. I begin to wonder maybe she’s the one holding the marriage itself. But the embarrassment was I did not pay attention to her foundation when she was sick. I was building somebody else and I am very proud I built a man. So, I got divorced again and now I am in a hurry to do her work because this is all I know.”
