Dear MIMSters: My Counselor Insists I Stay Away From My Man Who Wants Me Back I Is She Right?

Should I pay heed to my counselor?

I remember the first day I met Sis. A. I had been invited to this church by a colleague, and after that first service, I became hooked. On my next visit, I decided to join the work team but that could only be possible if I would go through their trainings so I started.

After the first level of classes, two of the friends I had in the class said they wanted to visit the church’s counseling room so I went with them. We met a counselor who welcomed us warmly and requested to know how she could be of help. I quickly answered her that I didn’t need counsel but only escorted my friends to see her.  Despite that, she welcomed all of us and assigned another counselor to speak with one friend while she spoke to the other friend.

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I saw the raw passion with which she spoke to my friend and held her hands to pray with her. When she was done with her, my friend thanked her and came to join me. She claimed she felt better after that counseling session and so, I walked to the counselor and apologized for my telling her off initially. I told her I needed her counsel, too and she obliged me. That was how I met Sis. A!

You see, I have experienced disappointment from men and I was getting fed up.

I thought I had a great relationship with Guy A, who by the way was almost 10-years older than me. And everyone who knew us together thought we were a great couple until I found his wedding pictures on social media. Did you know that I almost killed myself but for my mother who helped me get through it?!

Enter Guy B. I became pregnant with his child and he with his family members let all hell loose. They insisted I aborted the pregnancy, and I did but almost lost my life in the process. My widowed mom whose only child I am, was devastated when she found out. After I was discharged from the hospital, my mom called the relationship off on my behalf.

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Enter Guy C. He could be called my rebound guy. We were together for about 6-months before he asked that we put our relationship on hold. I asked him why and he said he needed to get his life together. This was someone who would before then profess to me that he could not live without me. Well, I gave him what he wanted and it was in the process of ‘putting things on hold’ with Guy C that someone invited me to the church where I presently fellowship; the church where Sis. A serves as a counselor.

After almost a year of keeping things on hold, Guy C called me and requested I visited his place to fashion a way forward. I felt that was good enough and I planned to go visit him but when I saw Sis. A with my friend, and after she testified she felt better from speaking with her, I also told her my story. Sis. A told me point blank that I needed to find myself before getting involved with any other man. She said men would continue to take me for granted if I do not let them know I am sufficient and could be a happy single lady. She asked that I do not honour Guy C’s invitation, saying he had no right to demand what he wants of me.

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Guy C seems really sorry for how he treated me, judging from his tone on the phone and I think I should go and see him but Sis. A says he only wants to have sex with me again. She also says I have to abstain from sex while I make efforts to find myself. She says that if Guy C was a serious man, he ought to visit me in my house and not invite me over to his place.

Sis. A seems pushy to me and I want to diss her counsel by going to see Guy C but she has been on my neck. She checks up on me from time to time saying she wants to be certain I am still on track. Sis A is beginning to choke me. For goodness sakes, I am 33-years old and I think marriage should be the next thing on my plate but this counselor woman, who has her own husband and children, is playing with my heads. Is she right to be like this?!