Dear MIMsters: Why I Am Emotionally Detached From My Husband
I am emotionally detached from my husband and this is why.
My husband and I got married in 2013 and have we two children. He was introduced to me by my sister, after many breakups. She just felt I needed a mature man. We courted for a year. My husband made it clear then that we would maintain separate rooms and would not employ a maid.
I agreed, however I thought he would change his mind. We are both working, however I have been the one doing a side hustle just to make ends meet.
I rose through the ranks and got to a managerial position. All through these years, my hubby and I have been managing ourselves, I have been the one buying everything at home, paying for repairs of gadgets, looking after the kids and taking office work home, while he still maintains his stance of “no maids allowed”.
I am 33 years old and already, I have been having one ailment or the other due to stress. Sometimes, I take the anger out on the children, but I would later apologize to them. They are 2 and 5 years old. He doesn’t abuse me physically, doesn’t assist with the housework, but likes to abuse me verbally and put me down in front of the kids. It is not easy staying married to this man.
As regards having sex, I detest his touch now. During the act, instead of focusing on it, I would remember all the things he does to me. Now, I long to have sex with other people that I am emotionally attached with.
My body has needs, however because of the way he treats me, I just don’t want his touch on my body. Even when I try to make it work with him, within 3 minutes, the sex is over, he must have ejaculated. He’s a banker and has been so for 13 years. Will I continue to live my life like this?
I am so depressed. However, I believe in commitment and the marriage institution. He is a caring father to his kids, but as a husband, I am afraid. Even communication with him is terrible, at times when I feel like talking, he won’t respond. Kindly advise me on what to do.