Dad-of-2, Lamar Odom Gets Candid About His Past Mistakes, Addiction To Sex & Infidelity During Marriage To Khloe Kardashian

NBA star, Lamar Odom has once again address his regret over his failed marriage to reality TV star Khloé Kardashian as well as his addiction to sex and drugs.

In his new memoir, ‘Darkness to Light’ exclusively excerpted in PEOPLE, the 39-year-old NBA champion wishes he had behaved differently during his marriage to Khloe.

The retired basketball player was in a relationship with the “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” star from 2009-2013, and the pair tied the knot just one month after they first met.

In December 2013, however, the 34-year-old filed for divorce when she found out that the sportsman had cheated on her with several women.

Speaking in an interview with PEOPLE, the single dad-of-two shared his regret over how he behaved throughout the marriage.

”I wanted to take it back, but you can’t. I wanted to hide it. But that sick sin was hard for me to hide … I had a problem. [I] ran out of porn to watch! That’s how you know when you are going a little overboard.”

Lamar went further to reveal that he has an addiction for sex and has slept with more than 2,000 women. He writes:

“I have been obsessed with sex for as long as I can remember. I am a sex addict — I’ve had sex with more than two thousand women. There were too many strippers to count. It wasn’t a big deal, but often I would pay them. I never thought less of them.”

He went on to reveal that the death of his third child, a son who passed in 2005 made everything to go downhill for him. This also led to his infidelity and cocaine addiction. The athlete writes further:

”I didn’t know if I would play again. I didn’t even know if I would walk or talk again. I met Khloe Kardashian in 2009. Her eyes reminded me of my mother’s.

For a while, being with her was bliss and I was the happiest I’ve ever been. At the start of our marriage I was faithful to her. But my cocaine use spiked in the summer of 2011.”

That year, he “rarely touched a basketball. I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity. Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression.” Odom says he knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t control his addictions. He tells PEOPLE:

“Sex was a trigger for me to do drugs because you double up on [that] good feeling. My sex addiction and my cocaine addiction go hand in hand. The first time I tried cocaine was in 2004.

The rush was like nothing I’d felt before. I was a drug addict plain and simple. The first time I overdosed, I came within minutes of dying.

I couldn’t keep my d**k in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit.

I’d get defensive and Khloe would just drop it. I was giving up on my NBA career — the only thing that ever gave me solace.

For a while, being with her was bliss and I was the happiest I’ve ever been. We were one of the most famous couples in Hollywood and we made more money together than we had individually.”

Lamar suffered an overdose in 2015 in the midst of his divorce from Khloe. He was found at a Las Vegas brothel where he overdosed and nearly died and had to be rushed to the hospital in critical condition (read here).

Speaking about his overdose, Lamar says he doesn’t know how he survived, but he’s determined to never return to that terrifying place again. He writes:

“On Tuesday morning, I lay on the floor in my room at the Ranch, dying. My body was convulsing. The women who kept me company screamed and called 911.

I was taken to Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas. There was an unholy concoction of cocaine, cognac, and cannabis coursing through my veins. My heart stopped twice. I had twelve seizures and six strokes. My lungs collapsed and my kidneys ruptured. I was on life support.

Everyone I’d ever loved was looking at me through bleary eyes. Khloe never left my side. She didn’t shower for days. Kim’s resiliency was incredible too. They put chairs together for her to sleep across at night.

On October 16, I opened my eyes for the first time in 48 hours. From the darkness to the light. That was the wake-up call. Like, this can’t happen again.”

He also talked about how she stood by him during his life-threatening overdose in 2015. Lamar says to PEOPLE:

”Her love for me must have been unconditional. That’s the only thing I think that gave her the strength to still love me at that time.”

Lamar who is now drug-free confessed that he’s still an addict but won’t go back into the darkness. He writes in his book:

“I’m still an addict. I still struggle … [But] I will not go into the darkness. Ever again.”

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