The stories of mothers-in-law and wives not getting along has always been a reoccurring issue in many Nigerian marriages.
There have been stories of mothers-in-law and wives fighting one another. Due to this, a Nigerian man identified as Ichie Chinua has shared a piece of interesting advice he believes would put a stop to some of the beef between mothers-in-law and wives.
Chinua took to his Twitter account to advise his fellow men on this issue, telling them to stop making their mothers shareholders in their marriages. He rubbished the popular saying of some married men that their moms are their first wife while their wives come second.
The twitter user further urged husbands to stop making their spouses miserable by making mothers too involved in marriages.
Read the interesting twitter thread below…
”Guys, When you marry a woman, you marry her for yourself, not your mother. Men must stop making our mothers shareholders in our marriages. Your mother is your father’s wife, not your first wife. Please stop making life miserable for your wives. Okay??”
Below are reactions from Nigerians…
My mum is my first wife. And she won’t make life miserable for my wife. Thanks for information. One love .
I guess you’re speaking for yourself bro… Come to IMO state and everything will change, they’ll openly tell you that you’re marrying her for the whole family and her new name will be “our wife “.
Next time start the statement with Igbo men. Igbo men never get tired of sucking from their mothers’ breasts.
If you must know, some mothers are the ones that hold marriages together, they are peace makers if given the chance. If a lady holds the mother in-law high, and are in good terms, she will control the whole family. Ladies keep his mother close, you own him.
If your mother in law is the pillar holding your marriage by the ankle then you guys shouldn’t be married at all.
He is not in any way saying mother shouldn’t interfere… The message is everybody should know his position and should not cross until asked to do so.
Does it work that way? Your mum is your mum. Marriage is not a complete seclusion. As long as your mum is alive she must influence your life. Your mum remains your mum even when you marry. She doesn’t have to control your marriage but mothers deserve respect.
Are you sure you understood the previous sentence before replying? There is a difference between respect and leaving your parents to cling to your wife.
Mothers are third parties to any marriage. Third party influences cause more problems in any marriage than it is helpful. The line must be drawn clearly and early enough. Let mother be mother and wife be wife!
If only mothers enjoy their home, they won’t feast on son’s marriage. The act of finding love and affection from their offspring’s relationship is absurdity.
If you see your mother as your first love, change it when you marry. My mom always tells me, her husband first before her children because you will become someone’s wife and leave, and all I have left will be my husband. I will do all I can as a mother, but after that…
Mothers and wives play totally different roles in a man’s life. The idea that you should drop your mum because you are married is far fetched. Both are key to your growth as a man.
Then one day you need mother advice abi , wen your wife give birth moo who go Dey there for support? Too much money Dey make u feel like Superman e be like say u no like your parents.
What every mother needs to hear from her son as he gets married: I love you, mum. But I’m NOT one with you. I’m one with MY WIFE. You’re one with YOUR HUSBAND. If I ever have to make a choice between you & my wife, I’ll choose her over you. Don’t ever get it twisted…
You need to reflect on the kind of mother you have if you have to be worried or concerned that your mother would interfere with your marriage.
It’s not about the kind of mother you have. Mothers should stop interfering in their children’s marriage. She had made her own family, she should allow her children to make theirs.
No one has said, drop your mother. Even the bible says ‘u leave to cleave” you can’t have your mother calling the shots in your home to the detriment of your wife. How is this difficult to understand?
True, but I hope this doesn’t mean seclusion, coz my understanding of marriage goes beyond the man and the wife. Its both families coming together. The wife’s parent becomes yours while yours too becomes hers. Ofcourse not to the point of dictating what goes on in the marriage.