Former Disney Channel actress, Bella Thorne, 21 has painfully admitted in an Instagram post her struggles with self-worth. In her heartfelt post, Bella admits and questions why she always has a need for validation of herself from other people and men especially.
The 21-year-old bestselling author in another part of her post acknowledged that she was sexually ‘molested her whole life’ and was raised to feel she was not good enough. Now an adult, Bella says she can’t seem to hold her own and is always seeking for approval and love outside of herself.
The actress is not in denial nor is she oblivious of the problems with her self esteem, she says she can’t help herself even though she’s tried to do so. Back in 2018, Bella revealed that she was sexually abused till she was 14.
Sharing topless photos of herself, she wrote:
‘What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men…’ she started, ‘What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men…
Seeming to address her relationship, she said:
‘Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so fucking scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it’s ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I’m accepted.’
‘Why? Because I can’t accept myself. For some reason in my head, I’m just not fucking good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else.
‘And if it’s not him I just look for the ‘next’ him, or her Why can’t I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me.
Was it because I was molested my whole life,’
Bella, then goes on to say she was exposed to sex at a young age and was raised to think
‘Exposed to sex at such a young age it’s all I know how to offer to the world…or is it because I was raised to think I wasn’t good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else,’
‘But it doesn’t matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now. I can’t blame my childhood, in fact I can’t blame anyone for anything.
‘All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I’m attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself,’
‘But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don’t have to hurt as much.
‘You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That’s what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt…but I’m not hurting for other people no I’m only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me.’
This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you,’
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