Coping with a spouse unfriendly with your parents can be difficult. Though some see nothing wrong with their spouses not getting along with their parents, others find it very wrong and would never tolerate it.
However, some married Nigerians who spoke with a PUNCH correspondent share how they will handle spouses who are unfriendly with their parents.
Read below and share your opinions with us…
Olugesin Olasunkanmi – She’s left with no choice than to love them
This question is a critical one. I think it is not possible to cope with a partner that doesn’t get along with my parents. I am saying this because I have a source. And the source of every man is God. Then after God are one’s parents.
If I have a partner that doesn’t get along with my parents, how will I cope? Look at this scenario, it has been my parents that have been with me all through my life and they have invested so much in me. It is my responsibility to care for them till they are no more. My partner has no choice but to get along well with my parents because I will also get along with her parents too and love them.
Fakoya Adedayo – I’m fine if he treats me well
To me, I can cope and get along with my partner. The reason is because as far as he is treating me well and he is giving me everything I need and he also loves me, I will definitely cope with him. My parents are a third party. What I will do on his behalf is that I will be begging my parents.
I would rather give part of the money he gives me to my parents and even tell them it is from him. That will even make my parents to love him more. If he doesn’t love my parents, my parents will love him. That shows I can cope with my partner so far he gives me money and loves me.
Egbuwalo Julius – She has to be friendly with them
Actually, I don’t think I can cope with any partner who doesn’t get along with my parents. And it is simple because if my partner doesn’t get along with my parents, she might even decide to betray me or do something funny in the marriage.
And when the whole marriage thing is over for instance, the people that will be left with me are my families. If my partner is not getting along with my parents, it might be a disaster at the end of the day. I cannot cope with a partner who is not friendly with my parents.
Benita Emmanuel – It shows we aren’t one
I just want to say that I cannot cope with a partner that cannot get along with my parents. I believe we are one. My husband and I are one. For my husband not to get along with my parents, it means that the oneness is not accurate and it is not a complete one. I cannot cope with my partner if he cannot get along with my parents. That is my stand and I will let him know.
Daniel Oluremi – Such partner’ll destroy me
It is not possible. How do you expect me to go along with someone who is working against my destiny? Do you know for how long I have been with my parents? They nurtured me to university level and every other thing. With time, that woman is going to work against me and my life is going to be destroyed. There is no way I can cope with her. I don’t want to see how beautiful and sexy that partner is, I can’t cope with her.
Divine Akibe – He must love my parents
No I can’t cope with him. My reason is because I would love the relationship between my husband and parents to be that of a son and parents. That is the kind of relationship I want between them. I can’t cope with such a husband. You know that everybody has their own kind of love.
You love your parents and you love your partner, and when they all come together and they don’t agree, who will you support? Looking at that instance, I can’t cope with him. It is not a good thing; the best thing is that they should get along.
Peter Okosuns – It’s no problem if they don’t agree
My wife lives in my house that is to say we live together and my parents don’t live with us. It is not a problem if they don’t get along. The reason is that, the only time they will come together is maybe there is an event, meeting or they come to our house to stay for holiday which is temporary. They can mange each other for that short time.
I am just thinking about a scenario where we have to meet because if there is no meeting point, then there won’t be any argument. First and foremost, she is my wife and I will not blame anybody if they don’t get along. I don’t plan to have my parents live with us. I can cope with her.
Udemi Evelyn – It’s not compulsory for them to be close
For me, it will be a good thing if my spouse gets along with my parents. But at the same time, I don’t see it as compulsory that they must get along as long as it is not disturbing our marriage. It is not a compulsory factor that my spouse and my parents must get along.
At times, our parents can be difficult to understand. But as long as each point in time they can reach a compromise and agree on certain things for us to move on, it’s fine. It is not compulsory that they must be friendly with each other. But if they can flow to an extent, it is okay. It is something we can work on. If they both get along well, I think is an added advantage on both sides. For short, it is advisable that spouses and parents get along but it is not a primary factor.
Oguntanso Emmanuel – My parents are priority
I don’t think I can cope with that. My reason is because they are the priority in every other thing. I don’t know of any other person. But in my own opinion, my wife must get along with my parents even with my immediate family. There is no way I can cope with a wife who has reservation for my parents. It is not possible.
Imebong Johnson – I can’t cope if they don’t get along
It cannot happen. I cannot cope with such a spouse. My husband is a loving and understanding person. He gets along well with my parents even though they (my parents) are dead now. May there soul rest in peace. Before my mother passed on, she lived with us.
And with the help of my husband, I was able to stand by her and support her because she was aged. This will plant a good seed in my children and they will also do same to us. I cannot cope with a husband who doesn’t get along with my parents; it cannot happen.