”The person you marry has the ability to make or disrupt your journey”- Amaka Chibuzo-Obi

Wife and mum, Amaka Chibuzo-Obi is a trained computer scientist but that’s not what she’s known for. Her passion for wholesome relationships, healthy family values, marriage, as well as, the social and mental development of women drove her to start her advocacy for these subjects under a platform, she named WivesRoundTable. Since starting her advocacy, Amaka has earned the love and admiration of many Nigerian women who follow her thoughts on the many social issues she tries to address via her show on the radio,

In a recent interview with the Guardian, Amaka proves beyond doubt that the issues she advocates for are indeed close to her heart as she brilliantly touches on many aspects of being a woman or wife and stresses on achieving balance in life despite those roles.

On whether her childhood prepared her in anyway for what she now does, Amaka, who is a Family Life practitioner and a certified Positive Psychology practitioner shared the following:

”I had an interesting life growing up. I was an only child to a woman who was a mother to many. My mom was that woman who opened her doors and her heart to everyone who needed help.

I saw generosity, empathy and the desire to make a difference, first hand in my mother. She died when I was just 8 years old (God keep resting her beautiful soul) So growing up, I always knew I wanted to change people’s lives for good.

I had no idea how what path I will take or what vehicle will lead me there but I just knew I was going to do something that will cause a major impact in lives and in my world.

Even though I battled low self-esteem and acute shyness at one point in my life, this desire to positively affect my world helped me overcome all that and keep the focus. So yes, my childhood kind of prepared me for what I do now.”

Shortly after she got married, Amaka shared that she discovered that married women felt comfortable talking to other married women and that gave birth to the inspiration for the WivesRoundTable Franchise. Hear her:

”I took up a job in a media-independent agency. In the years I worked there, I got married. I remember coming back from that break after the wedding to my colleagues who warmly welcomed me, especially the married ones. Shouts of “welcome to the club” filled the air.

One welcome actually played a huge part in changing the trajectory of my life. A good friend (or so I thought), someone with whom I had shared so many things in confidence, walked up and after welcoming me, she said “Ehen, Amaka, now I can really talk to you.

Because now you are married, you will understand me better”. This got me thinking deeply. I realized 2 very important things as I thought about this remark.

(1) That married women felt more comfortable discussing with other married women on issues important to them

(2) That married women didn’t have a lot of avenues to vent. So, years later, in 2011, Wivesroundtable was created. And it started as an online platform for married women to anonymously relate with one another, share their stories, experiences, concerns, and challenges and get suggestions and encouragement from each other.

This later morphed into the Wivesroundtable radio show which started airing every Thursday evening at 8 pm on 92.3 Inspiration FM Lagos in April 2013.

To further meet our objective of being an agent of positive change in the lives of women, The Wivesroundtable Foundation was born in 2019. This foundation’s objective is to empower poor and vulnerable women through entrepreneurship and financial literacy.”

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The proud wife and mum shared on what she believes to be her strengths as well as her Final Word for women, especially, wives:

”My empathy, my strength, my resolve to make a positive difference and my resilience to not give up all make me a bonafide woman of rubies!

Final word for Women, especially wives who are finding it hard to have a work-life balance.

Know yourself and the dynamics of your life. Utilize every resource available to you. Remind yourself daily that you matter too.

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Don’t be shy or afraid to speak up and ask for help when needed, especially when speaking up has the potential to favor you.

Know yourself well enough to know your path and love yourself enough to follow it doggedly.”

When asked what her advice for single and married folks would be, Amaka had this to say:

”Let me start with the singles – Realize that the person you marry has the ability to make or disrupt your journey so open your eyes wide when dating. TALK! Talk about all areas of life, so you can have an idea of how the person reasons and how he/she sees life.

Ask relevant questions. Ensure that your goals and dreams are in alignment or at least, that the other person is not opposed to yours.

Then for the newlyweds, realize that the butterflies in the tummy will settle sooner or later. This doesn’t mean you have fallen out of love.

It just means that the journey has started in earnest. From there on out, what will keep you both will be a firm commitment to and mutual respect of each other. See yourselves as a team – much like Arsenal and Liverpool. Teams score together, win together and celebrate together.

They also lose together if they do not prepare or perform well. When you realize that it is TOGETHER not INDIVIDUAL, you will take the other person’s matter like yours and help each other be better versions of yourselves.

Be kind. Be considerate. Be open. Practice effective communication. Learn it, if need be. Develop yourself inside marriage.

Do not take your marriage for granted. Work on it like you do for every other thing of importance in your life. Your marriage is worth it. You are worth it.”