Is my mother-in-law right on her her stance on this matter between my husband and I?
I’ve been married for 4 years. In the early part of my marriage, my husband raised his hand on me a few times, but I made so much noise by reporting him to people in my family, his family, even in church and it stopped and he hasn’t gotten physical with me since the first year.
Even though he has not been physical with me, he is quick to shout and make so much noise when we have an argument. So, as much as possible, I try to keep quiet when he starts his problem. However, I’m human, so once in a while, I lose it and talk back. Whenever I do, he’ll shout so loud that our neighbors will know there’s a fight. And I find this very embarrassing.
Recently, we had a fight because according to him, I server his dinner came late. I came back from work late that day. (I run my own business. Thankfully, it’s thriving and sometimes, very demanding). So, he got loud again. I even tried to caution him to put his voice down, but insisted on shouting for the whole neighborhood to hear and then he called my parents in his anger to report me. He called his mum too.
My family was scared of his wild anger as I grew up in a very peaceful and loving home. They asked if I wanted to come home for a while. My family lives in a different state from where my husband and I live. He went and told that to his mum (she’s been nice since we got married). She called to talk to me about it. In the course of our talk, I angrily addressed my husband as her son, which made her say things that really upset me.
She told me my husband is my crown. She said that even if he beats me (which she doesn’t agree with), we are married and I must stay there. (Her own husband also beats her.) She said I was at fault for not making his dinner on time. She also said that even if my family tries to intervene, I’m supposed to protect my husband and tell them we’re fine. She said I shouldn’t let my family ruin my marriage, even though it was her son that reported himself to them, not me.
She said I should do my best not to provoke him and that I should have apologized as soon as he raised his voice to complain about serving his dinner later than usual. She also said that I should have been silent when he shouted at me and called me stupid. She also said I should respect the anointing on his life as a leader in his church. All these these things she said really upset me and I don’t think our relationship can ever the same again.
My question is, am I right to be upset or is my MIL saying the truth? I need mature, honest opinions. I want to know if I’m truly wrong.