Dear MIMsters: All I Want Is To Be Happy But I Afraid Of Making That Decision

It all started 6years ago when I met my husband. The truth is that we were not really dating but just freelancing and next, I got pregnant.

My family’s advice was for me to just give birth to the child but he insisted on marrying me because according to him, another woman had previously aborted a child for him and he didn’t want to lose another child again.

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I was 18 and he was 25, and then, we had our traditional wedding. After our traditional wedding, he went for his NYSC service. I had the baby and he returned, then I realized he was cheating on me.

To be honest, I was very stupid. In a bid to console myself and because I was so pained, I made out with a male friend whom I was talking to. Naively, I couldn’t even live with the guilt, so, I told my hubby. That was the greatest mistake I ever made in my life, still full of regrets.

Since then, our marriage has never known peace as he started bringing different girls to our home while I was in school. He verbally abused me and I was emotionally traumatized. It became a norm for him to cheat on me, rub it on my face and tell me to leave his home. My MIL was there for me, God bless her.

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After my second year at school, he told me to bear another child for him. I took in again, he was happy and it seemed like he had started changing. The scars were there, that attention and love were lost, we were in manage not marriage.

Then in my final year, while prepping for my Exams, he called that morning to tell me that he had moved all my things and the children’s things to his mom’s place and he can no longer pay for our apartment. I told him I will only agree to this new arrangement if he is also going to stay with us.

He promised to but from then till now which is about two years, he has not lived with me. I live in his mom’s house. Since I graduated from school, he has not been bringing money for us to feed. Every month is now history, he keeps on telling me he is broke and is in debt.

This guy has a well-paying job, that gives him close to N250k every month. Meanwhile, I am corper but I hustle a lot. Now, what made me start seeking advice is that I met a guy recently and I told him everything about me. As it is, we are actually in love with each other while I have lost the love I have for my husband.

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In fact, the sex life with my husband is like once in 7 to 8 months. He only comes around to see his kids and leave. I have told him to get an apartment that I will support with the bills but he is unwilling to and the irony of it is that we are living in the same state but separately.

All I want is to leave this marriage, I turned 26 this year but at the same time, I am scared of finding love again but seriously what my heart needs right now is someone to truly love me. I just don’t know what to do and am so scared taking the decision of leaving but I know this is not the kind of life I want for myself.