Some are depressed, many have committed suicide while others that are so desperate are considering several options including talking to quack fertility experts. But for Samaila Nankling, an Abuja based woman, 2021 came with a change of story that she willingly shared having gone through a very tough period, battling infertility for six years.
A happily married couple in this part of the world is not considered truly happy if they are yet to have their own children. This singular philosophy has thrown many Nigerian women off balance.
Mrs Nankling like many other women got married and was expectant for six years but nothing came through. She was mocked, she became depressed and above all, very sad. But all that is now in the past after she was delivered of three bouncing baby boys through IVF which she had at Nordica Fertility Center in Abuja.
She was a guest on Dr Abayomi Live where she answered different questions alongside the host and CMD of Nordica Fertility Center, Dr Abayomi Ajayi.
City People followed the conversations and brings us the excerpts. Be inspired!
How are you and your babies?
They are fine sir, doing so well.
Would you like to introduce yourself?
My name is Nankling Samaila Bachi. I am a mother of three beautiful babies.
Tell us briefly about your journey through infertility and how you were able to overcome it.
My journey to having my bundles of joy is all about God and Nordica and I thank him for making it possible for me to conceive. I have been through a lot in life and at some point, I became scared because we couldn’t really diagnose what the problem was.
I have gone to many hospitals and they have referred me to many others too but all to no avail. As God would have it, a friend of mine introduced me to Nordica and I decided to give it a trial. When I got there, I received some information about the whole process and was required to register.
I did all that they asked me to do, I started going for treatments and then, God answered my prayers through Nordica. Now I have three bouncing baby boys, the journey was so smooth, there was no illness or complication, I was ok and agile all through the pregnancy period.
What do you understand the process of IVF to be like?
I had heard a lot of myths about IVF before actually going through the process. People had told me that the baby won’t be mine, the sperm will not be my husband’s, the egg to be used will not be mine and blah… blah… blah… but when I went through the process, I discovered that everything that was used was mine and that the process was not even painful.
As a matter of fact, there is nothing to fear. Everything about my process went smoothly and I thank God for making it a success. During the process, I realized that IVF is one of the ways to get the fruit of the womb and I want to encourage as many people as possible that are having the challenges of infertility to give this a trial.
Because sometimes people believe that it is all about prayer; especially my people from the north. They don’t see IVF as a possibility and they don’t even see the child as yours. But I am having my own babies today so I believe that IVF is the best if you can go through the process.
Somebody has had a failed IVF three times and she had the last one in December 2020. She is very shattered, disappointed and heartbroken. What do you have to say to such a person?
My word for her is to keep trusting God no matter how impossible or difficult the situation seems. Don’t give up, keep trying until you get your desired result. I got mine at the first trial but I feel bad for her. However, I am encouraging her to keep trying and God will answer her too.
Dr Abayomi Ajayi cuts in… She may also need to review some of the decisions you made in the last three treatments you have had so that you can know what the cause of the failure is. Because experience has shown that some people make some decisions that are not favourable for the process. I am not saying that is what applied to you, but even if they try the process ten times, they may likely not get the desired results.
How long have you waited before trying IVF and how old are you?
I have waited for six years and I am 33-years-old.
How easy is it to look after three babies?
It’s not easy at all… but I have people around who are helping out. I have my mum and aunt here with me.
How would you advice a woman who has had a first cycle but with ectopic pregnancy with a very scary experience and is about to have the second cycle next month? People are already saying that she might likely have another ectopic pregnancy…
Dr Abayomi answers: well let me start by saying that if you have had an ectopic pregnancy in the first cycle, chances are that you might likely have another ectopic pregnancy because whatever it is that has blocked the first tube is capable of blocking the second one but that does not mean that you cannot have IVF again.
What it just means is that when you get pregnant, you need to be monitored to see that the pregnancy is in the proper place. But just as Mrs Samaila said earlier on, I think you just need to keep trying until it comes. There are somethings the doctors might try to do to prevent another ectopic but they can only try, we know that ectopic is more common with a day three transfer than day five.
Probably, a day five transfer is what they should consider but that does not completely rule out ectopic. But of course, ectopic pregnancy occurs in about 4-7 percent of patients who do IVF so it’s not really very common but it does happen.
After transfer, does one really need total bed rest?
Well, after the transfer, I did not observe any bed rest. What I did was that I took permission from my office to take about a week off just for my body to adapt. But I didn’t observe any bed rest per se.
What lessons did you learn from this process of battling infertility to having three babies?
Firstly, I feel the joy of motherhood so much that I don’t know how to express it. Secondly, when you have attained a certain age and you do not have a child or you are yet to get pregnant, depression is likely to set in but now, I am no longer depressed and I am so happy.
Sometimes, you don’t have to believe what people are saying. There are certain decisions in life that have to be made by you and you may not need to heed anyone’s advice because some people will intentionally discourage you. Some will go as far as telling you not to go for the process but I am a testimony of that process.
Some people are even shy to say that they did IVF but I am very proud to say it anywhere. Through IVF, I am now a fully happy and fulfilled woman. So, don’t follow the crowd, do what pleases you and what you believe is right. So, any woman that is yet to give birth or wants to go through this process is the only one that can describe the pains in her heart.
Nobody knows what you feel when you are being mocked. People close to you and even your blood relations will mock you when you are battling infertility so you have to stand up for yourself and fight this with the help of God and he will help you. Maybe you have tried before and it didn’t work, you don’t have to give up, you have to keep trying.
Is it possible to get pregnant with the first cycle?
Yes. I am a testimony. This was my first trial and first cycle and I have three bouncing baby boys to show for it. Only one cycle gave me three boys… laughs.
Did you give birth normally or through cesarean section?
Dr Abayomi cuts in… Any good doctor would want you to have three babies through a cesarean section. So Mrs Samaila, you don’t have to answer that by yourself.