Divorce is one of the most challenging parts of anyone’s life, but sometimes it is inevitable. Grey divorce or late-in-life divorce refers to the split or separation of older couples who have been married for a long time.
Grey divorcees are also called “silver or diamond splitters,” and the term refers to the hair color that older people often have.
The term began to be used in the United States in 2004, but the practice had already been prevalent for about 20 years. Research shows that the overall rate of divorce in the United States has declined over the past 20 years, but the divorce rate of people over 50 is on the rise.
The fact is, many couples who are still enjoying their long-term marriages are doing so because they have been able to build a strong friendship through the love they have for each other.
Couples who care for each other will certainly find a way to make each other happy by creating hobbies and interests that can keep them engaged together even when their nest is empty.
Every couple must take responsibility to protect each other and safeguard their marriage from grey divorce.
According to family coach, Elizabeth badejo, below are tips to safeguard your marriage from grey divorce…
Treasure your humble beginning
The first few years of marriage would probably be the best for some and the most difficult time for others. But nevertheless it is the humble beginning of getting to understand and tolerate your individual excesses too.
Challenges in marriage bring opportunities for improvement and growth when you realise what you ought to have done better together.
After several years of marriage, you should start looking back and remember how you made it through those years despite all the challenges you faced as a couple and those memories should signify that no matter what the current situation is, your marriage has the potential to enjoy the commitments you made to stay with each other for better and for worse.
Make your spouse priority
When couples get to their grey ages, they can sometimes feel isolated from their friends and families especially if they live in a different country from their loved ones which makes them depend on each other more.
One of the most common causes of grey divorce is loneliness which can often affect one spouse more than the other if the couple has not made each other a priority in their marriage.
It is important to stay in touch even when you are not always together, or your hobbies frequently take you away from your spouse who prefers the comfort of staying at home.
A text message or a phone call to show that you are thinking about them even when you are socialising with friends can eliminate potential signs of loneliness in your grey marriage.
Being mindful is when you realise that your spouse may be feeling neglected because you do not share a similar lifestyle as a couple.
Conflicts are inevitable in every relationship and marriage conceivably has the biggest share of conflicts because of its life expectancy and the complications the differences between two individuals can present.
Conflicts are not determined by the number of years you have been married as different phases of your marriage can bring its own struggles which can result in conflicts.
Nobody lives in a vacuum and feelings and thoughts are going to be different which can make you see things from different perspectives, and this can often trigger conflicts in marriage.
Most conflicts escalate because someone is not ready to take responsibility for their own mistakes from the beginning of the marriage. Whichever stage you are right now, it is not too late to learn to acknowledge your weaknesses as this is key to safeguarding your marriage from conflicts and grey divorce.
When you take responsibility for your own behaviours, you will become more compassionate towards each other and give yourselves the opportunity to express your grievances and avoid or de-escalate conflicts.