Every Young And Intending Couple Should Take Notes From How The Okerekes Have Been Able To Sustain Their Marriage For 43 Years And Counting…

Ichie Patrick Okereke, former Senior Manager, Golden Guinea Breweries, Umuahia, Abia State and his wife, Madam Nneoma Ngozi Okereke, a renowned caterer, have been married for more than 43 years now and counting.

Interestingly, the couple are as happy as ever in their union which produced five children: four males and one female, though one of them is late. Incidentally, together, they have also five grandchildren.

In this interview with DailySun, the couple shared the story of their lives and also offered some pieces of useful advice to other couples, old and new.

For how long have you been married? 

Ichie Patrick: We have been married for more than 43 years and the union is even getting stronger and stronger as if we just met yesterday. No shaking!

What was the attraction?

Ichie Patrick: I was immediately attracted by her beauty, simplicity, intelligence and neatness. She was well-mannered which has continued to date 

Was it the same for you?

Madam Nneoma: We met at the Domestic Science School Umuahia in Abia State. I was a student then living with a sister. The day he came, I noticed that he couldn’t take his eyes off me. Then he made a love overture. From time to time, he would come trying to start a relationship.

Honestly, at the initial stage, I gave him some “headache” because I resisted his overtures. But after a while, I discovered that he was just a simple, gentle and very intelligent person who was not out to deceive me. Expectedly, I had to “fall” for him.

Your wife is from Mbaise and you’re from Orlu in Imo State. Was there any opposition from your people? 

Ichie Patrick: There was none at all.

Was it the same with you?

Madam Nneoma: Our parents were happy to join us together because they felt we are a good match. Hence they gave us their blessings.

Did you have a traditional or church wedding, and when? 

Madam Nneoma: We had our traditional marriage on August 5 and our White (Church) wedding on August 26, 1979. Our people were there in their numbers to rejoice with us. It was indeed one of my happiest days on earth.

Most times, newly married couples do not want their relations to be a burden by living with them as they usually want to be given a “breathing space.” Did any of your in-laws live with you after the wedding? 

Ichie Patrick: Yes, three of my wife’s siblings lived with us at various stages in our marriage. The first was Scholar, then Angela and the last was Chiadi. But except I tell you that they are my sisters-in-law, you wouldn’t know because we treated them as if they were our children.

Even though they are all married, today they still see me as their father. Again, don’t forget that we are not white people. In Igbo land, your in-laws are part and parcel of your family.

SEE ALSO: Experts List 9 Phrases Couples In Happy Relationships Should Never Pull Out In A Marriage

Have you as a couple ever had any serious disagreement that required the intervention of a third party?

Madam Nneoma: Not at all. We only disagree to agree as it is normal with every couple that loves each other. You see, we live for each other and I call him my “choice” and he calls me “Honey.”

This is because of the love we have for each other. It is natural and unadulterated. He celebrated his 80 years recently. Most people didn’t believe that because he looks younger than his age. 

Congratulations! What’s the secret of the good looks?

Ichie Patrick:  First, it is the grace of God. Secondly, as my wife said, we have never had any disagreement that required anybody to mediate. For what?  We may argue over issues. This is a normal thing between couples, but certainly not disagreement. When a man marries his true love, he will have rest of mind. They will also live longer because they understand each other.

You see, the mistake the new generation of people make today is that they marry for lust and money and not for love. If you marry for love, you won’t maltreat your wife and vice versa. This is because you’re one.

You can always settle any disagreement, no matter what, between yourselves, without even your children knowing, much less your parents or relatives coming to mediate between you and your wife. That is what is called marriage. Your wife is your mirror and you’re her mirror.  

As a couple, do you operate joint or separate accounts? 

Madam Nneoma: Even though we operate separate accounts, both of us have the pin codes of the ATM cards of the other and can take money from any of the accounts when needed. It has been that way. We have never had an issue with money. Like I said earlier, we live for each other. This is what marriage is all about: two persons living as one.

Ichie Patrick: We are one and the same. If I take money from her account, she knows that it is not for frivolities. This is because she knows who she married. It is the same for me. I don’t ask why she has withdrawn from my account because I know it is for family use.

It could be for the payment of the school fees of the children or for an emergency. But this kind of scenario cannot happen with the new generation couples because of self-centeredness. I and my “Honey” don’t have secrets between us which you younger people call “privacy.” We are of the old school. 

Are you worried by the high rate of divorce in our society today?

Ichie Patrick:  Of course, I am worried. The major causes of this ugly situation are lack of trust between spouses, greed, infidelity and lack of contentment. Trust, love, fidelity and contentment are veritable ingredients for any marriage to survive and above all, trust in God Almighty.

 If you hand over your marriage to God, you will not falter in your life because the institution itself was established by God. When marriages collapse, children are affected psychologically. It doesn’t matter how old they are. The new generation should know that no particular marriage is perfect but true love conquers all.

ALSO SEE: 20 Years Of Bliss: Mr And Mrs Ayano Tell How They Overcame The Major Deal Breakers In Every Marriage 

What advice do you have for the newly married and for bachelors and spinsters?

Madam Nneoma: A family that prays together stays together. Couples should be open to each other. They should always know when their spouse is not happy and find out why. For instance, whenever I come back from the business and notice that my husband was not happy, I would ask why.

I would try to find out from him if it was what I had done unknowingly that made him angry or if it is something else. In such a situation, I wouldn’t be comfortable till I see him happy. Understanding, sincerity and forgiveness are keys for any marriage to endure the test of time.

Don’t hold grudges against each other. When problems arise – which is normal when two people are living together – tackle it with sincerity immediately. Don’t carry it over to the following day.

Again, be satisfied with what you have and don’t compare your husband with your neighbours. If he can afford only N1, 000 for the market, manage it and don’t nag him because he couldn’t give you N10, 000 at that material time.

As a wife, you should not be complaining about everything or nagging him. If you understand each other, you know that marriage is very sweet. I will advise intending couples and newly married ones to always read Hebrew 1:12 and 1 Peter and hand over their marriage to God.