Your spouse has 5 basic needs. Are you meeting them?

By Becky Squire

Having the desire to fulfill your spouse’s needs is in no way submitting yourself to an inferior role. If you truly love your spouse, then you want to make them happy. Find five basic needs that will make your marriage stronger:

Recreational companionship

My husband and I are a classic example of a couple with hardly anything in common, especially when it comes to hobbies. We enjoy doing our own things — which can be good in a marriage. But when we spend time together doing what he likes, it’s often a win-win. Spending the evening golfing with my husband was never something I would have chosen, but I ended up having a great time. In fact, it was one of the best dates I have ever been on. Show your spouse you care about them by showing some interest in their hobbies. They may even return the favor and spend the day doing what you want to do!

Sexual fulfillment

This can be a touchy subject, but it’s an important one. One thing my husband and I have learned is to never treat intimacy like a game — to never withhold it as punishment. Doing so only intensifies feelings of negativity and resentment. Intimacy brings couples together better than anything, and if it’s important to your spouse, it needs to be important to you. Whether or not marital intimacy is special depends on the attitude and effort of those involved.

Admiration

In a healthy relationship, your spouse is doing his part — whether that’s having a career, going to school, staying home with children, etc. Most of these actions may go unnoticed. For example, my husband works 8-10 hours a day, then spends his evenings going to school or doing homework. You may not physically see how much your spouse does for your family every day, which can make their efforts easier to forget — out of sight, out of mind. Remember, as often as possible, show and tell your spouse how much you love and appreciate all they do for you.

Domestic support

Domestic support involves the creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment. You and your husband may share household chores and other home responsibilities equally, or your husband may need you to handle these responsibilities more often if he is busy handling others. Again, in a healthy relationship, your husband should be doing his part. If this is the case, fulfill hubby’s needs by cooking meals, washing dishes, keeping your home clean, etc.

Attractiveness

As a wife of almost 12 years, I know how familiar and comfortable wives can get with their husbands — which is great. As a mother of four, I know how easy it is to stay in my pajamas all day, how luxurious it is to wait and shower when I actually have five minutes of privacy. Some days are like that, and that’s OK, but don’t let this type of thing become a habit. Put effort into making yourself attractive to your spouse. If you don’t see your husband until he walks in the door 30 seconds before dinnertime, schedule a few minutes beforehand to freshen yourself up. I started doing this a couple years ago and noticed a positive difference in my husband’s mood when he came home. Bonus: it makes me feel great, too.

Examining these five needs is a great way to look deeper into your marriage to determine your spouse’s individual needs. Whether a marriage is in trouble or not, when spouses fulfill each other’s needs, the marriage becomes stronger.

Source: familyshare.com