Fela’s Daughter, Yeni Kuti Talks Being A Single Mum, Polygamy, Marriage & More

In an interview with Nigerian Tribune‘s Yemisi Aofolaju, Yeni Kuti, the first daughter of the late Afro beat legend, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, and manager of his properties, spilled being a single mum, marriage, polygamy, and so much more.

Find excerpts below:

How has life been as a single mom?

You know it’s a different feeling altogether. I was travelling in a plane, and the plane began malfunctioning. My first thought as a woman was ‘who will take care of my daughter if anything should happen to me?’ I was praying to my Creator to preserve my life because of her.

I used to smoke, but when my daughter gained admission into the university, I told myself, ‘you might die before this girl graduates, who will pay her tuition?’ That was the only motivation I needed to stop because I knew that I must see her through university. And when she graduated, I did not see the need to continue smoking.

What’s your notion on motherhood in Africa?

I can only talk for myself, but I believe that once you are a mother, you cease to be number one. One’s child becomes number one. I believe that there’s a lot you have to give up for our children.

What do you miss most about your mum?

Ah, my mum…That’s a difficult question, because I miss her in all areas. I can’t tell you, but I miss a lot about her.

Do you feel fulfilled as a woman?

Hmm, I don’t think anybody is ever really fulfilled in life. We all want to do better. I can say I am satisfied. But being fulfilled is a big word. My stomach is actually too big and I have to do regular exercise. I wake up at 4:15 everyday just because I want to use the extra 15 minutes to exercise. But I will never opt for a tummy tuck surgery.

What has been your saddest moment ever?

When I lost my mum. And I lost Fela the same year too. It was a very traumatic experience for me.

What did growing up in a polygamous setting teach you about marriage?

Growing up in a polygamous setting made me more tolerant of the infidelity of men.

Did your views on marriage change after that?

Well, I still got married, but I did not expect my husband to be faithful. I didn’t demand or expect it. If he was unfaithful, it would not cause any fight between us.

So what could cause misunderstanding between yourself and your man?

I hate lazy men a lot. But the African society has put women at the receiving end one too many times. For instance, if a woman doesn’t give birth, all eyes will be on her, while no one will even point a finger at the man, and it might be the man who is sterile, while the woman is very fertile. I think we women need to fight for our rights more… I believe women are the higher being. The man brings home the money, but we are the one to bring up the children. But when the man doesn’t bring home the “backery” he is a useless and lazy man. He should be made to go and work.

I’m not saying women shouldn’t work, but it should be a matter of choice, that is if she can cope with asking her husband for everything she wants to buy. Then it is her choice.

Some people say women are their greatest enemies. Do you agree with that?

100 per cent. I would give you a very good example. A woman gets married and cannot have a child. Her husband will keep urging her on with his understanding. It is her mother-in-law and husband’s sister that will become her greatest antagonists. They will start to call her a witch and blame her for doing numerous abortions when they are supposed to stand by their own fellow woman. I can bet you that the father of the man will not be doing that. It is the mother or the sister. That is why these days, women look out for husbands who have dead mother-in-law, so that they will have peace of mind.