How To Identify A Spoiled Brat And Avoid Raising One

By DEBBIE

Nobody wants to raise a spoiled brat; a child that is selfish, demanding and always insensitive to others.

It isn’t a lack of love that does the harm. It is the substitute of material things instead of genuine love.  When a parent tries to give them everything; indulging them with toys to make them happy, tolerating bad behavior because they don’t want to hurt their little feelings and sacrificing everything for the child. These amount to giving them the wrong kind of attention.

Those first 5 years are what really counts.  As parents we can be slaughtered if we aren’t careful, since those are the years they are the cutest and hardest to resist.

Here are the 10 things to note:

1.    Throwing tantrums in public and at home.  Sure this is going to happen a few times.  Every toddler has to try it to see if it works.  You have to let them know they are not going to traumatize you with this trick.

2.   Never satisfied with what they have.  They always want more and want everything that they see another child have.

What do you do in this situation?  You have to stop giving them everything they want or you think they would like.  You are trying to buy this kid.

Take them to the toy store and go up and down the aisle without buying anything.  And then go home.  You may have to do this a few times to teach them that when in a store, they don’t get THINGS.

3.   Never helping out.  Toddlers can learn to pick up their toys when through playing with them.  You ask them to do little things and they set there like you are talking to yourself.  Finally you go do the small task, just so there isn’t a battle.

How do you get them to help with those small tasks?  If you start with the picking up the toys (which is a good place to start) and they won’t do it, Say, “Fine you don’t want to pick your toys up and put them away, mommy will do it and if you want them back you are going to have to do something for me.”

Keep a box or bag around to put the toys in and don’t give them back unless they help you with a task.

If they are having a snack or eating, teach them to take their plate to the kitchen counter and later, washing it by themselves.  Also, teach them to dispose of wrappers from food in the trash can.

4.   No respect for others and try to control even adults. When it comes to these kids, it does not matter if the target is another kid or adult they want control. 

They will look an adult straight in the eyes and say, “You can’t tell me what to do.”  You ask them to do something and they look again at you saying, (with an attitude), “I don’t have too.”  They think everyone should listen to them.

How do you teach them respect and they are not the center of the world?  

Start by letting them know they are not the center of your world.  If they need something, teach them to be patient.

“Just a minute, I have to finish this,” is a good start.

Do not let them talk to you rudely.  Let them know you mean business and will not tolerate any rudeness.

Learn what punishment really gets to them and USE IT.

5.   Always embarrassing you in public.  Sooner or later every kid is going to embarrass his or her parent, when this is happening all the time they have your number and they know how and when to use it.

They’re getting the attention they want.

How do you teach them this is not acceptable? You’re in the store and they want something or are ‘bored’ so they start the embarrassing actions.  Take them out of the store and calm them down.

Once they are calm let them know that you are taking them back in the store to apologize to a manger for disrupting his or her store.

They end up being the one that is embarrassed.

6. Doesn’t share.  If your child is having trouble sharing by the age of 4, you are most likely dealing with a little brat.

How do you teach your child to share?  You can start excepting food from them (even if you pretend) when they start feeding themselves.  Many kids start doing this at the age of 1. They love trying to give you some of there food.

You give them a hand held treat and sit beside them and before you know it they are offering you a bit.

Tell them, “Thank you for sharing.”

Make sure they get the chance to play with other kids.  Whether it is siblings, cousins, or friends watch them play and let them know that they do have to share. If they refuse, take the toy away from them.

Say, “If you can’t share, you can set here and watch while Johnny plays with it.  When you decide to share you can play again.”

7.   Always begging them to do something.  This kind of behavior tells the parent that they really could care less what you want or need done.  Many parents will bribe a child to do what they want them to do.  For example: If you pick up your toys I’ll give you that treat you want.”

How do you stop begging your child to do something?  If they won’t help you don’t help them.

Say for example they want you to help them put a puzzle together or they broke a toy and want you to fix it.  When they make this request, look at them and say, “Sorry when I ask you to pick up your toys you wouldn’t do it, so now mommy can’t help you.”

Remember the helping door swings both ways.

8.   Ignoring you when talking to them.  No child should ever ignore a parent when they are talking.  Will, maybe the first try, but not the second try.  What this child is telling you is…
Whatever you have to say is not important.

How do you stop your child from ignoring you? 

Use this against them when they want YOU to listen to them.  Look at them and say,

“Sorry I can’t hear you.”

Then let them know that when they can hear you; you are going to be able to hear them.

End of story…walk away.

9.    Your child will not play alone.  Before your child reaches the age of 4 they should be playing by themselves.  If they won’t play alone it is telling you that they want attention at all times. 

Which means they are spoiled…

How do you get them to play alone?  Stop making them your entire world.

Give them some toys and show them how to play with them on their own.  If they throw a tantrum, let them.

Let them know that you have other things to do and they have to learn to play alone.

10.You are always bribing them to do something.  You know how this works.  Pick up your toys and I’ll give you that candy…  When we go to the store I’ll get you that toy you want.

How do you stop the bribing?  Just stop it.  Your child is controlling you.

Do you want them living with you when they are 40 years old?  Trust me they will be unless you give them the money to move out.

Kids have to learn that many things in life don’t come with rewards.

It is like this…either you pick up the toys or I do and they are mine.

Question to ask yourself…

Is your child running your house or are you?

If you feel like your kid is, isn’t it time you do something? In the end, you’ll take the credit for raising them well.

Source: hownottoraiseaserialkiller.com