Dear MIMsters: How Do I Get My MIL To Start Eating My Food Again?

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My MIL has been living with us since a year after our wedding, eighteen years ago.

It has not been easy because she never wanted me to marry her son. She said that a prophet told her we are not compatible. After much prayers and confirmation from God, we got married and have been blessed both in cash and kind. My MIL is the only challenge.

Early in our marriage, she would come to the kitchen to tell me how to dish food for guests, she would complain about pepper and stuff. I finally vacated the kitchen for her for peace to reign.

We finally moved to our own house and as my kids were growing, I took over the cooking so that my daughter will not think it is MIL that should be cooking when she too is married. But that didn’t go down well with mama. I fought to get it back and she started cooking her own food but I still dished her food.

At one point, she wanted her children (all single mothers) to start living in my house (my hubby been the only educated and only son), but I never allowed that too. So she concluded that the prophet was right as hubby did not listen to her by marrying me. I know I have not done anything wrong. I am only fighting for my home but she stands on the point that she sold her clothes to send her son (hubby) to school so she has to eat the fruit of her labour which I am not against. I pray it for her even openly in our morning devotion but must you live with your son and cause his family pain before you eat the fruit of your labour?

My hubby sent money to get her an apartment 3 times but his elder sister spent it. Hubby is tired but she is his mother. Hubby only tells me never to be rude to her and be patient that old age is troubling mama (81yrs), which I am doing. The main issue now is mama has refused my eating my food for the past 3 weeks because she is angry with me. She abused my mother and I laughed and said it is well. She said I am making jest of her she started abusing me. I left an drove off to work. My second son who is 15 years old, I was told later responded that she should stop abusing his mum. Mama was shocked because she never expected it. She called my mum and all her children to report this matter to them. Hubby and I scolded my son and gave him 6 hot strokes of the cane in mama’s presence. Hubby later confessed to me that he would have done worse than what my son did if he was in his shoes as he can’t stand anyone abusing his mother.

Please how do I get mama to eat my food, though she cooks her own food? I am tired of begging.