Dear MIM Readers: Should I Leave My Husband Who Treats Me Like This?
I got married in October last year, had my traditional wedding in April and started living with my hubby after that.
The problem started a week after I found out that my hubby has been exchanging nudes with a particular lady (not his ex). They started exchanging those pix after our wedding. It took me a week to ask my hubby about it, instead of my hubby to be remorseful and apologise, he twisted the whole thing and blamed me for going through his phone. I practically cried throughout the night till morning. I the morning, he casually said he is sorry but never gave any reason for his act.
As a result of this incident, I lost the trust I had for him and never believed whatever he said or did. I forgave him quite all right but never forgot the pain. I never failed to mention it each time we had a small argument.
Meanwhile, my hubby keeps a lot of female friends. He has more female friends than a lady has, though he says there is nothing between them. But then how can you have so much female friends and nothing would happen between one or two of them?
Well, fast forward to last weekend, he went for a burial and when he came back, I saw a condom neatly hidden in the car. I asked him about it. Initially, he said it wasn’t him (like he would have confessed). The case would have ended there o, but he decided to play the same card he played the night I found out about the nude, but I was having none of it again and that led to a lot of argument and exchange of words. Now, we haven’t been talking to each other since Wednesday. My anger is not him fucking another lady, my pain is my hubby comes as in ejaculates within five seconds of making love. I’v begged him to use condom so he would last longer, but he’s refused. Now he gets to use condom with another lady and let her have all the fun? That’s so unfair.
So please house, what do I do? I am seriously considering leaving this guy cos he doesn’t appreciate me one bit. Each time we have an argument, he would say I should leave. I am pregnant with our first child,and each time we have an argument he would be like do I think I have arrived or if I think that I would tie him down cos I am now pregnant. I really need your suggestion. Please help!
Hmmmmmmm madam put it in prayers please for now.
hmmmnn.give him a break.leave him alone for now
Honestly na you wey the wear shoe know how e dey pain u so please if u can cope fine but if u can’t cope then advice urself b4 u die of heart attack one day and don’t be surprise to see dose asking u to pray will stay blame u for not making de right choice….. How can a hurtful woman even pray? The one dats supposed to pray here for himself is de man but no1 will say such tin rada de will tell women to pray while a foolish man kips messing around….. Honestly am tired of all dese cheating men
Just hang in there madam and pray and keep talking to him, but if u see he’s not responding report him to his people so that when u take any step they will understand where u are coming frm and won’t act naive about it.
Hmmm l dnt think ur hubby is psychologically ready for marriage considering how soon he jumped into extra-marital affairs(he still feels there are more out there to enjoy).Another point could be d circumstances surrounding ur marriage to him.From ur write up,ur hubby sounds like he was trapped or made to marry u.My advice-pls dnt give up too soon on ur marriage.Since u know wat he does,dnt nag him abt it(u might be pushing him out d more).Keep calm(though difficult),concentrate on ur job n ur growing bump(stress is d last thing u need now) n most important,pray about this daily.He will come arround.When u are depressed,go for a walk n breath fresh air,visit friends or family,go to d movies,etcanything to make u feel gud n laugh.l wish u safe delivery.
Hmmmm! Am in short of words my dear pls go on ur knees in prayer ad if u hv a real man of God still confront him or her abt it.pls comport itself bcos of ur condition.
Ur marriage is too young to be going thru all dis I knw there nt suppose to be a particular time in marriage dat ones husband shuld cheat bt dis is damm too early pls dear sis ve a serious talk wit him pray and leave him alone for now concentrate on ur pregnancy after ur baby is born u can now decide what to do wit dat arrogant cheat husband of urs bt pls dnt let his stupidity affect ur health or dat of ur baby
This is a sensitive issue that needs patients and prayer. The only threat I see is the fact that he isn’t satisfying you sexually not that he is incompetent. I don’t blame his premature ejaculation cos after sleeping about, he will partically be left exhausted so that when he gets home he will have no strength to do any show. Try making love in the mrg b4 he goes to work so as to satisfy yourself before he goes out. As for his cheating don’t relent in prayers and God will change for good.
Madam poster, I’m very sure u saw all these while dating yet u went ahead with the marriage..u guys should go for counselling
My goodness the things women go through . Stand your ground the cheating must stop
Hmmm, I’m so short of words but I’ll advice you to focus on your pregnancy for now. Also commit everything to God in prayers. It’s well!
hmm, I strongly believe you knew abt his flirty lifestyle before you said I do. either you pray to God or you deal with it yaself.
Madam u have given him the liecense to cheat from what u just said and i hope ur not the one who was desperate to be married,all i can say is that the ball is in ur cot
Madam, u are d architect of ur problem. How long did u study dis man before lured him in marriage? As u can see marriage is another institution which u can not replaced with anyone. If u leave him to another how sure about his own character? Pray for wisdom to keep ur home,
Ma’am kindly called your hubby once again and let him know his ways is causing you grieve, the marriage is still very young that you are considering divorce, that should be the last option. Also be more prayerful than before…
He doesn’t regard and respect u…even when he’s caught in d act he won’t still feel remorseful…Madam pls take a bold step nw, either u leave his house or stay married and become bitter…! God knws I can’t stand a cheating & arrogant husband.
Lord have mercy
i dn’t understand why some men continue 2 cheat after getting married. Why can’t they stick 2 der wives…. May God fix ur marriage
Go to God in prayers.
I think u shld leave him alone for now
Now that you are pregnant, where do u want to go eh. Pls be patient
That guy isn’t qualified to be called a husband, leave him alone before he infects you with a horrible STD.
you should have seen this coming before you said yes to his proposal… haba men sef,did u think you can change him after marriage?
Hmmmmmm!! what some women go through in d name of marriage.
When I read posts like this, I always ask myself, if Jesus rule today, who is doing what is wrong here? In God’s eyes, fornicators will not inherit His kingdom. Tell that man this. show him 1Corinthians 6vs 9-10. Then please and please pack and leave him. If you stay there, you cannot manage that situation I tell you. If he could tell you that you cannot tie him down with pregnancy, he doesnt value you and is badly fornicating. You are a good person to have put up with him knowing he is cheating but enough now please. At the moment, leave him and pray for him from afar. Pray only for God’s will to be done. If he comes back to you, keep praying that God’s will be done. If he doesnt come back, keep praying that God’s will be done. God will never leave you to suffer as long as you are fighting the wicked man.
Just LEAVE him….. he doesn’t deserve u. I don’t know why ladies allow men insult them. Let him go and be with those girls.
This is really cruel of any man! Pls my dear let peace guide your heart. Do what will make you happy at this time till you put to bed. Pray to God to help you sail through this time and come out a stronger woman. Be strong.
Shame. It’s beter not to marry someone’s daughter than marry one and treat her the way this woman is treated. Pray over the situation and do what you think s right.