Man Seeks Advice on How to Divorce 7-Month Pregnant Wife in Lengthy Post on Reddit

An anonymous 28-year-old American shared a lengthy post on Reddit, seeking for advice on how to communicate his divorce intentions to his seven-month pregnant wife, over allegations of severe physical, emotional and mental abuse.

Read his post below:

“I am a 28 year old male, my wife is 27 years old. We’ve been married for two years, she is currently between 6 and 7 months pregnant.

As of now, I can safely say that marrying her was the worst decision of my life. I do not like my life, I do not enjoy my life, I hate my life and I think I hate my wife. She has made my life miserable in unimaginable ways.

Before we got married, we used to argue sometimes. Very infrequently, but we normally peacefully resolved the arguments, and were open to communication and compromise. I still loved her very much then. Once we got married, the arguments started becoming more and more frequent, but we still largely resolved them amicably. It reached the point where often she would start an argument, and I would just sit it out, not argue or contest anything, apologise if necessary, until she calmed down. It wasn’t fun, but it allowed me to avoid getting into the heat of arguments and fights, and it prevented them from escalating.

When we found out she was pregnant, we were overjoyed. We had always wanted children, and I thought this would be the greatest thing for our marriage, and it would finally turn things around.

Things started going downhill steeply since then. My wife has become an intolerable person. She shouts, she throws a fit over the smallest thing. If one thing is out of place, if I am slightly late on washing the dishes, or if a single dish is not properly cleaned, she will raise hell on me.

If I say one thing wrong, or one thing that slightly upsets her, she will raise a storm. If I sit down to watch tv or play games, she will raise a storm. When she gets like this, she cannot be reasoned with, she cannot be talked to. I can’t even try to calm her down, it just makes her worse. At times things have gotten physical.

I consider this to be very severe physical, emotional and mental abuse, I feel as if she has drained all happiness and joy out of me. I do not feel happy when I see her any more, I do not feel the joy and love that I used to feel towards her. Now, I see her as someone to avoid. Someone I know will shout at me and make my life miserable. Sometimes its not even something that I do, sometimes she will just be feeling unhappy and pick an argument over nothing, and keep it going until it turns into a fight with her shouting at me. This has been going on since at least the beginning of the pregnancy, and if I had to be honest, the signs were there before.

I regret marrying her so much, she is not the woman I loved. If I had to be absolutely truthful, I would say no, I no longer feel any love towards this woman, my wife, who is carrying our baby.

I said things have gotten physical, they have: one time she threw a fork at me. It hit me on the face a few inches below the eye and caused a sharp scratch. I had to lie and tell everyone it was due to an accident, the only people that know it was because she threw a fork at me are me and her.

Honestly, I have become fearful of her. I have taken to avoiding her. I’ve started spending much of my time at my parents house because I cannot stand to be around her, she drives me crazy and makes me scared. A few times I even spent the night at my parents house, at one incident I drove there in the middle of the night because she was raising such a furore I could not be in the same house as her.

A bit about her mental history: yes I know all about pregnancy hormones. Yes I know there can be depression during pregnancy and sometimes pregnant women can behave strangely. The thing is, I can’t even bring this up with her. If I dare to suggest seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist about her behaviour, she will go nuts at me for suggesting that she is crazy, or suggesting she is in the wrong. She will go nuts because how dare I suggest anything other than its all my fault, and she’s not to blame. She will go nuts.

She has a history of depression, I know she took meds in her teenage years but stopped in her early twenties. She didn’t have much of a problem with it since then, and she stated herself she believes the meds never helped, and she doesn’t like psychiatry all too much. She doesn’t want any medical intervention or any therapy.

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At this point I don’t even want therapy, not that she’s open to it. I feel its past that point. I can’t live like this any more. I want out.

I have no idea how to approach it. I’m scared of her. If I tell her frankly what I’m feeling, that I want to end this marriage and I want a divorce, how will she react? What if she throws something at me again? What if she attacks me again, tries to hurt me or hurt herself?

She is carrying an unborn child, what if she tries to hurt the child? I have no idea what will become of our child, its future already compromised before its even born. (An abortion is out of the question because where we live, its illegal past 20 weeks).

I’m scared, I’m frustrated. I feel no love towards this woman at all, only fear and loathing. I want to get out as soon as I can, cut my losses whatever they may be. If I have to pay child support for ever, I will take that if it means I can have a normal life otherwise. Frankly I’m even considering involving child protection services to see if it is even safe to leave the child with her once he is born.

Bottom line: my pregnant wife has made my life miserable beyond hell, she is very abusive towards me. I cannot stand this life any more, and I want a divorce, but I am scared and I don’t know how to approach it.

tl;dr: Wife of 2 years is 6-7 months pregnant. Has become very abusive towards me, impossible to live with. Often verbally, and occasionally, physically attacks me. I have taken to avoiding her as much as possible. She completely refuses any psychiatric help or therapy of any sort, and gets very angry if I even suggest it. I feel no love towards her, only fear, and I know at this point my only option is a divorce. However I am too scared to even broach the topic of divorce with her because I have no idea how she will react, whether she might try to hurt me, herself, or the baby. Please give any advice on what I can do or how I can approach the situation.

What do you think?