Got a Live-in Nanny? Find Surefire Ways to Evaluate & Monitor One

Ameena Aliyu-Beighton

In recent years, the nanny game has changed quite significantly, depending on how old you are. When I was growing up, things seemed a bit more straightforward. Our nanny, Diane, was a kind and nurturing one. She was always fair and I seem to remember, well liked by my parents. Those memories were happy ones, but she had to get married sometime, so the love affair ended quite painfully.

Till today, I keep looking for a Diane, and just when I think I have found her, something really sharp bursts the bubble. I have resigned to thinking that perhaps those saintly virtues I seem to always recall were distorted by my naivety.

Is it possible to find or nuture a Diane? To evaluate such a question, parents must first understand what they want in a nanny. Often, parents employ girls who are more or less maids and brandish them with the nanny title. This title automatically expects them to perform duties that your latest import from the village frankly cannot fathom.

So, ask yourself, “Do I want an odd job run-around maid to do the odd job runarounds that I really don’t have the time,patience or skill to do  or a nanny that can take care of my kids and develop them mentally as well?” After all, your child is only as challenged as their caregiver.

If she is going to be spending a lot of time with your kids, and you expect a level of constructive play, then Nkechi fresh from the village won’t cut it.

Here are some tips on monitoring and evaluating:

Know Thy Staff

First, it’s always a good idea to know from whence she came. If she is from an agency, then she should have verifiable references. Make sure to call these references just to verify some facts. If she is a recommendation from a friend, find out all you can about her background.

Be sure to get her tested for any transferable conditions. This is especially important as she will have very close contact with your family.

First Impressions

Before you let anyone in your home, that first meet is vital. This will allow both parties check each other out.

Was she on time? Is she clean and decently dressed? Does she speak well or not? Can she speak your native tongue (not a bad skill to teach your kids).

The first meeting will also really give you a sense of who she is and what kind of experience she has dealing with kids. Even if she has no official work experience, you may get a good enough vibe from her to be willing to mould her.

The first meeting will also help you spot a confident nanny that won’t be bossed around by your child.

Set Thy Ground Rules

Setting ground rules will give your live-in nanny boundaries to work within. It is important to lay these out in the first meeting. For instance, what foods are the kids allowed or not allowed to have, what routine must be followed, what’s an acceptable time to be back from church or mosque?

How well she respects these boundaries will give you a good enough clue as to if she is a keeper.

Speak Thy Mind

She must know what you are thinking when you are thinking it. This will keep her on her toes. Once she commits a blunder, try to correct it there and then politely. Don’t be preoccupied with treading carefully so you don’t lose her services. She may be very hardworking but you still have to be firm.

Find Thy Balance

We all like to command some respect in our household. Finding the right balance between being firm but fair is absolutely vital. This will make you an approachable employer in which case, if an issue arises with your kids (e.g an accident), she will feel able to talk to you.

As frustrating as staff can be, especially in Nigeria where attention to detail is not embedded in the work ethos of most, you must try to remember that your nearest and dearest are entrusted in the hands of these employees. Being excessively harsh or indeed too lax may have an impact on the kids when you are not there.

Survey Thy Kingdom

You may want to consider installing a nanny cam to entrap unsuspecting staff. You can choose to keep this piece of information to yourself or disclose it to your nanny. Question is, will you have time to plough through hours of footage to find evidence of foul play?

On the other hand, it could act as a deterent. Letting your staff know about the cameras could curb undesirable behaviour. Just keep the fact that you are unlikely to painstakingly scrutinise the footage to yourself.

What Do Other People Think

Signs of a good nanny can be seen by outsiders who can judge things objectively. They can also observe things you may miss or in your absence.

Kids’ Reaction

Naturally, it may take a few days or a couple of weeks for your kids to get themselves acquainted with a live-in nanny.

If this however, stretches for longer than a month, then this nanny may not be right for your children. A bond to a lesser or larger extent is expected between your child and any care giver who is pretty much around.

You should always have a line of communication open between you and your child to allow them report any ill treatments or sexual abuse.

You should personally educate your child on what sort of behaviour is acceptable. This will let them know when to cry foul.

On the whole, you can only know your nanny as much as she lets you. As long as you have a grip on making clear how you want things done in a firm, fair and consistent way, you should be relatively fine.