DEAR MIM READERS: My Dad Says I Either Abort My Pregnancy or Get Kicked Out
6 years ago, precisely, towards the start of WASSCE, I met Dare and we became very good friends. He had recently joined the school for the SSSCE exam after his dad, a military officer, was transferred from the North to Ibadan.
He was and still is such a likeable person, a complete gentleman, so, when he eventually asked me out towards the start of my 200L at university (he had just gained admission to the same university then), I was so thrilled and all my friends, whom I had always gushed about him to, were happy for me.
We have dated for about 13 months and now, I’m pregnant. I know it’s not a thing of pride for a 21-year-old 300L student to get pregnant for her 23-year-old 200L boyfriend, but should my dad make my life a living hell because of this mistake?
I don’t regret dating Dare but I realize, albeit too late, that we should have been more careful. The poor guy has been so miserable and apologetic like we are not both responsible for this mistake. My dad would not even give him or his family any audience despite pleas from different quarters, including my mum.
He has given me two very depressing options, claiming he only wants the best for me; to get the pregnancy aborted and cut further ties with Dare or get kicked out of his house and lose all privileges.
I can’t even bear the thoughts of aborting my baby or quitting my relationship with Dare. Yet, even if a relative accepts to accommodate me, how will I survive paying bills at school, feeding, sorting out pregnancy bills and raising a child without any help? My mother is only a housewife and Dare’s parents live at the barracks. Besides, their income is barely enough to sustain them – I would be a burden they can’t do much for.
I cry every day and the future looks so bleak. What is the way out for me? Please save a life.
Honestly if I tell u to keep it, I will be lying to myself. I have two daughters and no parents dream of seeing their daughter throw away their lives at this young age. You and that boy are too young for all these responsibility.
Hmmmmmmmm speechless
Hnmmmm I just don’t know what to say here but are u sure u can bear de burden of been a single mom? Hope u won’t blame urself for bringing a child into de world to suffer? Please advice urself cus my me tire oh
Too complicated to even know what to advice. If the boy’s parent were a bit comfortable I would have suggest you move in with them but since its the other way round only God knows best. What I will suggest is for you to see if you can defile your admission for now and go get a job to take care of yourself and the baby pending when things sort out with your dad. Am sure after the child is delivered he will come to accept you back. Prayerfully talk to him and all will be well.
Well my dear, wisdom they say is profitable to the wise. All what you ve said is true to the teeth. Throwing away your future over an unborn child. But have you stopped for a moment to think about the future? I mean think beyond now. I tell you, I know of two friends whom up till morrow they can take in let alone bearing a child becos of abortion. No, let’s not talk abt that, let’s talk about ethics. Do you think, deep down inside of you it is proper to commit an abortion? ? ? True you don’t know how to fare later when you ve been kicked out but what about suffering and enduring now for a future blessing. Am not in the class of those who quickly say pray at every slight mishap but at this point I will advise you to hold on to the skirt of God just like Abraham did until he was blessed. Pray my dear. Cry with all your heart to God, make petitions and supplications to him. Beg him for forgiveness and let his will be done for his will is the greatest. Above all, people would advice you but!, your own decision through God’s will is what you need. Wish you inner peace of mind.
good advice dear, motherly one.
its dicey ooo. I really can’t advice u abort but on d other hand can u cope loosing in out on these privileges. …
My lovely sis pls no matter d pressure do not terminate d baby in other nt to sin against God ad please ur father. Go to d chapel ad ask God to forgive u ad then hear from him.
What you did is very bad hence your dad”said reaction…he is worried about your future. …after all you are still is lil baby girl… he knows men can be fickle and doesn’t want you to make a grave mistake…it’s either you keep pleading with him to let you keep the baby until he agrees or you pick from the options he has presented
Well spoken.
May God guide u in any decision u will take its well with u
Only God can save u frm dis situation,just have faith ad pray dat God should change ur father’s mind.
This is a difficult one.
What is Dare’s father saying?Does he know about this? His response will go a very long way to determine or influence your decision or even that of your father. I’m interested in his take on the whole thing,even his mother…Be Wise and Good Luck.
Abortion is not the solution but honestly your dad felt disappointed by you. The thing is for you to get someone he listen to and respect to help you apologise to him. You must sincerely apologise to your dad too and you must promise him the pregnancy won’t affect your academic performance. Keeping the pregnancy is a though decision but @ this point give your life to God (Jesus) cause He is the only one that can see you through. I’ll advice you to break up with Dare for now. Also save up little money to start petty business in your school especially in the female hostel. Some thing like ok wears, jewelries etc. doing this will help you save up money for antenatal and delivery bill. Prepare to be strong for yourself and the baby cause it’s a challenging situation.
I don’t know what school you attend, but if the boy whose parents you claim aren’t well to do can go there too, I’m assuming it is a Federal University. In my experience, they rarely charge up to 50k a session. Talk to your mother, I’m sure she can support you with school fees.
Having a baby is not easy, but I’m thinking you should have thought about that before you had unprotected sex. This baby you have created is now your responsibility, no one else’s.
Last I checked, abortion is illegal in Nigeria, except in medical emergencies. So darling, get ready to leave the comfort, luxury and privileges your father provides and hustle to care for your child. Poorer, less fortunate people have done it. A father who would ask you to murder his grandchild because of his reputation or name needs spiritual help. Don’t do something you will regret later, or something that will jaunt you in the future.
Don’t come online looking for validation of something you know is wrong. Grow up, take responsibility and try to find a solution. Instead of asking for permission to have an abortion, ask for help looking after the baby.
If you are so sure this baby will ruin your life, why not ask this magazine to put you in touch with a TTC mom who may be willing to adopt the baby? Consider that. I’m sure someone hereyes who has the capacity will be interested in doing something to help.
Someone may even be willing to act as foster parent to your baby for a couple of years, at least till she conceives her own biological child or you get your footing in life. You never know.
Darling, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. God’s got you. I look forward to hearing good news from you.
well said
think about loosing your life doing the abortion or think about loosing your womb doing the abortion or even God may decide no more child for you after the abortion,this is a test of time God is watching you pass through it,remember he said he will never give us load that is more than us,even if he does he will be there to help us through… though u shouldn’t be clapped for but it may be ur destiny,u cant tell tomorrow. When i was 20 i too was pregnant,marriages came,offers came to sell the baby while dey take care of me but i stood still. I knew its was not going to be easy but i decided to give birth first and continue from there,it was a miracle… i have not seen the four walls of university but i can provide for her & myself …MAKE A CHOICE
This is so disturbing, i can’t advise you keep the baby and i am not of the opinion you should abort. So this is a bit confusing for me.
Huunnnn, just Dnt know what to say cos it’s so confusing. My dear just be prayerful so that God wil intervain into it and show you the best way out of these
Go with your heart cos if u dn’t have a financial support in this country of ours, he get as he be. Be wise
Its really complicated all i can say have ur child now and u can always go back to school when all coast is clear
Don’t know wat to advice may GOD direct u in ur decision
Get people he respects to talk to him n plead on your behalf.He is disappointed in you(which is expected but he is human.l believe he will come around.
pls my dear sis ,do not abort
Well young lady thank God 4 ur life. first gv ur life to Jesus and confess ur sin and ask 4 4givenss of ur sin, sin to ur parent sin to urself and sin to ur future and sin to God.do u pray b4 starting this painful jorney? No do u imform ur parent? No nw u her bleming ur parent 4 nt accepting u it could have better go back to God first to make resuitution with him b/c he owns ur life he knw more than ur parent even more than u and he knw ur future he knw why he allow it so go back to the ownner of ur life he owns solution