Veteran Broadcaster & Actor, Patrick Doyle, Shares on Losing His First Wife & Son to Sickle Cell Anaemia

The Veteran broadcaster and actor now married to star actress, Iretiola Doyle, shared on growing up without a dad, losing his first wife and teenage son to sickle cell anaemia, meeting his beautiful wife and more in a recent interview with Punch. See excerpts:

On growing up without his dad who died few months before he was born

“…I don’t recall ever being jealous of my friends who had fathers. All I remember was I was tired of people always asking me about my father. Because of that, I invented a story to tell people after I heard one of my friends tell someone that his father was on a business tour. Whenever I was asked about my father, all I said was my father was on tour. I was about 10 years old then.

My mother on the other was a very wonderful woman. She did not make me feel the loss of my father and she was probably the strongest woman that I know. I owe a lot to her. My mother did not have the benefit of attending a secondary school. However, I have never heard anyone speak English as good and fluent as my mother. I say this anytime. I have never seen anybody read as voraciously as my late mother…(She never remarried?) No, she did not. I think she attempted to remarry on a number of occasions but it never worked out.”

On losing his first wife and teenage son to sickle cell anaemia

“It was a very difficult time for me. I have not yet come to terms with my loss. I sill miss them both. My Christian faith allows me to give thanks to God in all things. To be honest, it is difficult to give thanks because I always ask God why such happened to me twice. But the truth is there is nothing I can do about it. I feel God has consoled me because I have a wonderful wife and lovely daughters. I have the respect of my peers, I am grateful to God and I can’t complain.

There is nothing I can do to change what has happened. I tried to start up a foundation to help people with sickle cell anaemia but I could not bring myself to do it. Anytime I try to, I just remember my young 17-year-old son. I have not got over their deaths especially that of my son. It is very difficult; I need to sponge that feeling before I am able to establish the foundation. I fully intend to advocate about sickle cell. It has been seven years he died but it is very fresh in my memory.

The young boy had had only two attacks in his lifetime. The first one was when his mother died. His mother died in 1999 and he was just seven years old. He did not have another attack for about 10 years. I don’t know what could have triggered his attack. His mother for instance had several attacks for the 10 years we married and she always pulled through. I was almost certain he would also pull through but he did not.”

On why he married his first wife despite the health risks

“I am a Christian and I cannot say I would not marry somebody that I am in love with because of health issues. Besides, during that time, we did not have anything like marriage counsellor and even if we did, it would not have deterred me from marrying someone because of health issues. I don’t think that affairs of the heart are governed by medical reports. If you are getting married to somebody, you do not marry because of the person’s health or for procreation reasons. You marry the person because she/he is your soul mate and it transcends beyond any medical report. I feel it is silly to base matter of the heart on medical grounds especially now that there are technologies that can eliminate possibilities of any of the offspring to have sickle cell. The argument did not hold water to me then because it did not make sense to me and I could not phantom why I had to base the judgement of who I want to marry on a medical report.”

On meeting his wife, Ireti

“The first time I saw my wife was at an audition for Jaded Option. I called for a reading and I believe it was Nduka Irabor that knew her. He knew some of my partners and told one of them about the young lady that wanted to be a part of the audition. We asked him to call for her and when she came, she looked very competent. She did well and got a part in the flick.

On one occasion, I decided to test her and asked her to help me write the dialogue for a scene in the drama series. She did it well and I realised she was very intelligent. At some point, she was my protégé. She came as an actor and I found she could write well so I normally made her write the dialogue of various scenarios and she did it very well. At a point, she took on the role of a production manager, carrying cameras and lighting equipment. Before long, she was like one of the boys. When I and my crew members were cracking jokes that were at the expense of women, she would laugh with us and none of us saw her as a woman. We just saw her as one of us.

She was like a tomboy because she was always wearing shirt and jeans. It was not a big deal until shortly before my wife died. She took a different role and was very supportive during that period. She saw what I was going through and she was very supportive of me. Then some of my friends like Tony Okoroji would tease me that she is a very fine girl and I should be careful around her. Then he would say if he was not married, he would chase her. It was people like Tony that made me realise that she was very beautiful. After my late wife passed on, I was totally disgruntled but she was there for me. She supported me all through that period and that is why I said that in everything, God has really consoled me because I have a very beautiful and supportive wife. I discovered a very beautiful wife in the midst of the crisis. I am consoled and a very happy man.”