SOMACHI KACHIKWU: Life As A Mum of 4 Boys

After 4 boys, I decided to stop as I don’t want to be a mother of 5 – 6 boys. Sometimes, I think I might have been lucky though, who knows? I must say my sons are extremely amazing guys and I am extremely blessed to have them but I still secretly want a daughter. Can’t help it.

Nothing quite prepared me to be a mum of 4, especially of boys. However, I took on the challenge and thankfully, it’s been blissful. The birthing process was never particularly easy, but sharing the experiences with close friends and family was really helpful. People adopt various degrees of privacy but having a supportive circle really reduces the stress, tension and complexities of pregnancy and childbirth.

Raising them is an uphill task. I get confused as to when they are becoming unruly and when they are just being boys. Often, after yelling, I wonder if I’m not letting nature take its course. I’m very girly and my younger brother is rather calm, so I’m not used to smelly shoes, soccer sweat, WWE moves, or gobbling lots of food.

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Again, with four children (whether boys or girls), no task can be completed without dedicating enough time. Every day, I deal with ‘brush your teeth x 4’, pairing socks x 4, homework x 4, and so on. However, my winning strategy is to focus on the older two and the younger two seem to follow suit. If the older ones are doing it, it must be cool.

In order not to burn out, I put myself first. There is no prize for investing your entire being into mothering and home making and not taking time to fulfill your own purpose. It’s very important for working mothers to plan their time and prioritize errands and tasks. Even if you are a stay at home mum, your role should be given dignity; it is not an easy role.

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So, I tell myself I have to be relaxed, healthy and spiritually intact to be a good mother. I try to wake up at 5a.m., an hour before my children wake up. So, I’m ahead of the morning chaos. I do my morning devotionals, coordinate my look for the day, pack my work bag, and maybe work out (mums should try to factor this into their routine to keep fit and trim). I’m very organized, even if I say so myself. I don’t rush in the mornings only to find out I forgot my earrings or some files. That helps a lot.

In terms of finance, I’ve learnt if one is not careful, no amount will ever be enough to pay all the bills. My husband and I try as much as possible to budget in a way that makes room for savings and investments. We minimize spending on frivolities as much as possible and plan ahead. When there are impromptu bills to pay, we take from savings and draw out a flexible pay back plan. Of course, there have been a few times we defaulted for cogent reasons, but that’s just about it. Though these take a lot of self restraint, it’s kept financial hiccups to the barest minimum to our utmost delight!

Overall, love my boys to bits and indulge in checking out little princesses very often. Will it ever go away?

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