Dear MIM: My husband is a Pastor, but see what I discovered about him.
Happy Christmas to you all.
I am the same woman who found condoms in my husband’s bag a while ago when we were on vacation. I am so devastated now as I have found something even more heartbreaking, hurting and frustrating.
I found a memory card in my bedroom. I took it and put it in my phone to check who it belongs to. What I discovered shocked me to the marrow. I found pictures of my husband naked with women (prostitutes) , pictures showing the male and female private parts. In other pictures, they were kissing, sleeping, drinking and cuddling. I don’t have energy to talk about this yet. I don’t know when will I be ready to talk about it. I just feel empty inside. Remember, my husband is a pastor, he is the leader of the church. I don’t know where to start discussing this with him. I even thought of showing our Bishop and some elders of the church, may be they can speak some sense to his empty spirit . I just feel verrrrry numb so far .
Fake pastor. Show It to your bishop please maybe they can talk sense into him like you suggested.
Madam,
I agree that you have been traumatized. But then let look at these issues:
Do you make him beg, cajole, cry or threaten before allowing him to touch you?
Do you breastfeed him even if he doesn’t ask for?
How many times do you call him MY HUSBAND?
Do you smile at him when he is in bad mood?
Do you share his sexual fantasies with him?
Have you ever told him …darling, I beg you as for today never fuck me hard ooo..have ever demanded that?
Is love making a one sided affair as he is seen as …Lucifer’s son, just finish what you want so that l can have my peace?
Yes, many a husband sees the wife in the light of his mother…she used to call me her husband…she used to beg me to eat my meals…she used to say sweet things to me…she used to make me feel am the best of all males in the world.
When he doesn’t hears such from the wife, the obvious position becomes; she doesn’t love me. She doesn’t see me as the best of men. These thoughts find solution in the a blossom of the so called spoiled ladies who from experience, have learned that though a man is physically stronger than the woman, yet, he can be turned into whatever the womn want with mere words and the frbidden fruit.
Mama Pastor, this is nothing to blame on Sunday Devilman Lucifer. Tell no Bishof or Elder. Sit properly and work on your sex life with your husband. Call him one evening and tell him sweet things like, hussy, l found a nice clip and want you to give me the styles in it. Fuck me till l want no more. Go ahead and bring out his dick and start blowing air at it as you suckit.
The Bishops have their own trouble. Right?
Thank you, best advice here. Madam poster work on your sex life first, u dont need to bring a third party into the matter without profilling a solution yourself. Good luck.
Permit me to call this opinion ‘wrong’. There’s lapses and room for improvement in every relationship, but that does not validate wrongdoing sir/ma. This relationship needs a third-party help, as it is beyond what the couple can handle alone. Swallow or ignore the shame madam, and shout for help!
Thank you don’t mind those evil advisers
Bros dats nt how real men of God ar ooo men of God spend more tym prayin nd fastin dey dnt ave sex with der wife all d tym becs der wrk is more of spiritual soo dey need to be spiritually strong in prayer d truth is dat naturally dat pastr is a humanizer he ave nt conquer d flesh d holyspirit is nt in his life or maybe God didnt evn call him he called himself dats d truth nd if care is nt takin dat is wat is goin to distry his life nd ministry
U are obviously the husband and u’re evil
There’s no reason to. Commit adultery and a pastor for that matter
I love this. Madam please listen to her advice and try to make your marriage work instead of reporting him.
I think you make sense anyways,
Even if she worshipworshipped the ground he walks and stands on, and give him good sex everyday, a cheating husband would still cheat.
He is fixated on lascivious lifestyle and you cannot blame his wife for it.
what the hail are you telling me!!! A pastor that prostitute to this extent and you are just trivializing it with work on you sexual life my foot!!! Have you not seen women who are wonderful in bed, even their husbands don’t satisfy them yet they endure and live faithfully with them; only for the men that cannot perform very well at home to be jumping from one woman to another out there!!! My sister this one needs not just third party, forth , fifth and tenth parties!! Do you know the diseases this one has been battling with, do you know the emotional trauma,, what about the shock!!! Please give me a break
Madam report him to the bishop. Bible says he that covereth a sin shall not prosper. So let it out before he destroys that ministry with his careless life.
God forbid ! Pastor indeed! My dear, confront him but B4 that make up your mind to continue or not in this deceitful ans very shameful marriage.
Its really sad what you are going through,the fact that he is a pastor makes it all disturbing…Sori Ma you said you have caught him with a condom before & did you try knowin what his problem is like talking to him,trying to make him see reasons why he should stop all he’s doing,then if you have done that & he still remains adamant,I think you should report to the bishop before it gets out of hands
Hmmm this is serious.I don’t think you should involve a 3rd party yet.It’s soo embarrassing.Please confront him with the evidence and find out what is really going on.It’s not about him being a pastor.This could be his darkest secret and fantasy.He needs help
Can u imagine
My God!
God will judge
I think your husband needs serious help. This is way beyond being a pastor bcis it seems theres something wrong with him somewhere. It seems he prefers the other life more than being a servant of God. Pls copy d contents of d memory card into another memory card and keep it safe. Then confront him and reveal what you have seen. Talk to him and try to find out what is wrong with him. Let’s see what his excuse will be. If after all these, you don’t see any changes, you can now report to the Bishop. Pls pray for divine help for him
omg
m weak n speechless
Madam I think you need to apply wisdom in handling this issue, do not involve a third party. Create a very conducive atmosphere and start by telling him you understand his predicaments draw him close to your bosom and tell him you are enough of a pornography to him. Make him understand you found out these secrets of his but you are not picking up a quarrel because you understand.
Treat him like a baby and you will be amazed at the way he will open up to you in genuine repentance.
However, I have a feeling that you were too churcheous for his liking, possibly he is the type that enjoys experimentation and you the primitivist. I would seriously advise you look inwards. Against all odds do not ever bring in a third party.
All you need do is to pray for him and not involve a third party and how are you sure if the third party is not worst?.
This is exactly what I watched on crime and investigation channel last night. Unfortunately the pastor ended killing his wife just because she reported him to the bishops and elders of the church.
Talk to him first, make a recording of your conversation without his knowledge. If you want to call a meeting of some his family n urs with the Bishops n elders, do this with all caution n be prayerful because doing this means exposing him and he might react adversely. Otherwise confront him like I said and take a break. Move to your sister, friend or parents place for some days and watch out for his reaction.
Being a pastor doesn’t make anyone a saint.
this is very pathetic my dear sister. I felicitate with you. I will ask if your husband is answerable to his Bishop. if he is,pls don’t hesitate to talk to them about it. I’m sure they will address the issue with the required wisdom and at the same time pray. Note that the devil will be happy if the wall of your home crumbles, so you have to fight a good fight of faith on your knees and with your mouth profess that your home will not crumble but stand for the Lord. It is well with you.
this is very pathetic my dear sister. I felicitate with you. I will ask if your husband is answerable to his Bishop. if he is,pls don’t hesitate to talk to the bishop about it. I’m sure he will address the issue with the required wisdom and at the same time pray. Note that the devil will be happy if the wall of your home crumbles, so you have to fight a good fight of faith on your knees and with your mouth profess that your home will not crumble but stand for the Lord. It is well with you.AMEN
I can imagine what ur going through…d lord is ur strength
My dear,please be careful.u have to be wise in dealing with this very problem so u won’t hurt yourself. If u leak his secret to the public while staying in his house,he might get u killed.just calm down first,think, think and think!!may d lord bless u with wisdom.
Pls woman,dnt u think dis can just be blackmail or somebody dat want 2 chase u out of ur husband’s house bcos its not its not possible dat ur husband will snap himself and another lady naked and still put d memory card where u will see it,even if he doesn’t fear u he will be scared of his calling,pls be wise and be patience,atime some ugly incident dnt need a drastic action,Pls cont praying 4 him and ur home.
Madam,please don’t confront him,don’t ask him. Please call the attention of serious minded people if he can do all of this and snap them,remember to even remove memory card. Madam,such a man can commit murder to cover up his sins. So please if the memory card is still with u copy out the stuff if not all just some as evidence,then call the attention of the people u trust because if u shout it, it will destroy the church. Madam,I am really sorry but pastor na just title oh he is human like everyone so he can err. GOD HELP I BOTH
I will put up a show in church after service, with a dvd and a screen.
Gbam!
its very unfortunate that men of God are no longer beacon of hope in the Christian church, I mean if a pastor is doing that what right does he have to counsel me if I were fornicating? very unfortunate
Get anoda memory card n copy d files insid b4 u talk 2 him abt it then afterwards u will know whether to involv d bishop or not
Ma,U need God’s intervention in ur marriage,pray b4 askin him,if God intervene,ur husbd wil admit dt what he had done is uncalled for especially 2b a servant of God.Ma,if u ve nt been givin him satisfactory sex pls always allow him anytime he needs you & dont tel d bishop what he has done.The only person to tel s God&I believe He wil help you to solve ds problem.
In problem solving, it’s always prudent for you to examine yourself first to find out where you went wrong to make amends. Be honest and sincere to yourself to identify your mistakes. Solving it must start with you. He did not just get up and go out there condescending and misconducting himself. He knows what he is doing is not right but hey!, something was not right somewhere that led him to stoop that low. Check and find out and solve that problem rather than making it public. Remember “love covers multitude of sins”
You’re fortunate to have a video of the ladies in there. Now take time to observe and find out what they did that you’ve not been doing. Up your game to match them.
One important secret that every woman should know is the fact that when a wife begins to control intimacy in a marriage, she automatically lose the man to another woman. Men by nature have an ego that makes them want to control intimacy. That is, they don’t want when, where and how to have sex to be controlled by the woman. Girlfriends don’t do that, they give it anywhere, anytime and anyhow and that is what get the men glued to them. Wives must begin to think and act as girlfriends to preserve their marriages. Girlfriends always want to impress by expressing their sexuality, on the contrary wives always try to suppress sexuality that tends to mount up depression on the union.
Another unfortunate situation unknown to women is the fact that, for men pleasurable sex is three 3 dimensional. The first dimension has to do with SIGHT. Turn your man on with your body. Let him have a full glare of you standing, walking, lying down and moving your body naked. Don’t always make love only at night with the lights off. Try looking sexually attractive in lingeries and invite him for some hot afternoon bouts once a while.
The second dimension has to do with SOUND. Most women will lie down quiet like a piece of log with an expression suggesting that the man should hurry up and this is a killer. The moaning and groaning of a woman during sex is a stimulant to a man’s sex drive. Moaning and groaning stimulate certain nerves connected to the brain to cause a surge in the power released during sex in men. Moaning and groaning is a “Psychological Viagra” that helps to keep and sustain erection for maximum performance.
The third dimension is the body contact and penetration. This is less important in pleasurable sex which most men don’t even know. Its unfortunate most women think, that is what men need most.
With most women in most marriages the first two dimensions have been ignored and are missing, leading to psychological impotence in the men. When the men go out and encounter women who dish out the sight and sounds of sex, they automatically regain their potency and want to stay out because the wives are not willing and ready to give them the sight and sounds they need to perfect their satisfaction. He probably lost his groove with you which is common to many marriages. Just help him get his groove back.
Please consider the above, work it out to salvage your marriage. Don’t discuss with anyone, help him out of this immoral dilemma prayerfully and physically play the role of a girlfriend. It will not be resolved the moment there is a third person and even if it ever works out you’ll regret telling a third person when you finally resolve.
Beloved! At a time like this its not easy, it takes only the grace of God and spirit of perseverance to handle this issue! Telling the Bishop that is exposing your husband is not the best decision not minding He is a pastor all of us has shortcomings and God allowing you to see and watch the memory card is for a purpose! my dear, be calm, go into your closet, talk to your Father God and ask him(The Author and Finisher of Our faith) will direct, teach and guide you on how to handle this through the help of the Holy Spirit (The Great Comforter).
Listen! I repeat, its not going to be easy be in this believe God want to use you to do something in your Husband’s life. James 1:2-7, vs 12.
Pastor indeed
Biko no dey call that man a pastor even an ordinary husband that does this should be sanctioned and you are calling this one a pastor; na una dey give pastors bad name
Talk to your husband first, it will be good to hear his own side too
If ur hubby is a pastor den wat r u………?
My dear, there so many questions un asked and so many answers not given, it will be hard to just broker a solution why…?
1 does he still make love to you passionately
2 Does he still make love to you at all
3 How cordial is your relationship marriage, friends or living partner
4. Do you know if you nag
5 have you changed physically over time, have you changed emotionally,
I can go on and on but without these questions answered what ever advise is given would be unfair to either of you.
However Pray, call him and discuss it with him. you are the best judge, jury and prosecutor in this regard handle it from your heart-felt believe the heart never goes wrong even though we think it does ….goodluck
It’s so sad but you really have to seat him down and talk to him, I just hope Ur not showing him too much holy Holy attitude tho, dats y he is going out, any ways, talk to him about it, working marriages have good communication.
Pls my sis talk to God first to seek direction. Then copy the contents of that memory card, Give it your bishop in case anything happens to you but don’t tell him yet until you meet with your hussy. Your husband’s reaction will determine your next action. God give you peace in this storm.
Fake pastors everywhere
Why are we still trying to lay the blame on the woman. U see why men keep getting stupid, bcos after all their stupidity, some pple will still blame it on their wives.
If she’s not crazy in bed, shouldn’t d so called pastor call her attention to it. If she doesn’t dress well, shouldn’t he also call her attention to it & also pray? He has no reason whatsoever, no justification whatsoever!!! He has been caught with a condom b4, now this. Pastor indeed.
God bless you! I cannot even understand the basis of defending this man’s action. No matter how bad the woman is in bed, it cannot push a man to this level, he has been into this and will take the grace of God to bring him out of it