Dear MIM: Hubby Wants Me To Have An Abortion For These Reasons
I’m in a dilemma and need advice badly.
I have been married for 8 years now with two children and pregnant with baby number three which was unplanned. Our family planning method failed and my hubby insists I have an abortion!
I couldn’t believe my ears. His reason is that he is advancing in his career and does not have the time and money for another child. This is the same person who bought himself a very expensive car not too long ago and spent a huge amount of money decorating our new home, all against my advice since the timing was not right.
He insisted that I stay at home to take good care of our kids and I listened to him. Now, I have told him I’m going back to work immediately since I have been getting good offers. Still, he insisted it does not change anything. He went further to compare himself to his colleagues, saying most of them don’t have kids and the ones who do only have one. Is that not childishness?
He has become so arrogant, rude and verbally abusive ever since he started this new career and I have been just quiet trying to be the best supportive wife I can be. I feel so humiliated and disrespected that my legally married husband who wedded me in the church can tell me to abort.
I’m afraid to go to my parents because my father was so much against my marriage because he said my husband’s family is very abusive to women. It was hard for me to believe this because he was so calm and gentle at the time and I did not think it was fair that he was being judged for the sins of other members of his family. How wrong and stupid I was!
His mother is afraid of him and would never antagonize him, so she is also out of the question. All I want to do is go back to work and be the independent woman I used to be, so I can file for a divorce ASAP. Please I need advice, because for the sake of my children, I don’t want to make bad choices, but I cannot continue to endure this marriage.
Do not abort the baby. Stand your ground. U didn’t climb untop of yourself and got yourself preggy period. When he was fucking, what was he expecting? A plasma TV?
am really tryn to undstnd ur post sha.do u want to divorce him cos he asked u to abort or cos he is abusive…i really dont get ur post.i advice u pick up a job from ur post doesnt seem like u kicked against it wat i read was dat whether u av a job or not doesnt chnge d fact dat he doesn’t want d baby.but m not too sure if divorce is d right step.
My sister I thought I was the only one thinking in this direction. I don’t think this issue has gotten to the stage of divorce oooo
If I were to be in your shoes,l would grab one of the job offers.I don’t see any ground for divorce from your post.You are a home builder please don’t give up on your marriage so easily.Since he is not interested in this pregnancy(for now I’m sure)get a job and don’t ask him for anything concerning this baby.When he sees that you can handle it without him,you will gain his respect and who knows he might just have a change of heart.Safe delivery
I’ll advice u take any of d job offers n keep ur baby, abbortion is out of it.
My dear go on with d job offer as u cn c ur hubby is up to something else y will he even vomit such a word? Well ……
My dear go ad take d job u were been offered
Speechless
Hmmm from your post I don’t think this issue has gotten to the stage of divorce. What you need to do is talk to him and make him see reason why you have to keep the child and get a job. So please don’t ever think of moving out just because you and your hubby dint land on same ground.
Take the job offer just incase he decides to not support you again for keeping the pregnancy. Pray for your family too.
Hmmm. Men
Don’t abort, get a get a job, pray for your home coz he’s ganging out with wrong company .
Hmmm my sis,keep ur home!! I was once in ur shoe in my marriage ,hubby asked me to abort our baby cos he is doing his PhD,in SA , I did obey him,BT since den I HV been having miscarriage upon miscarriage now DAT he has finished his program,he needs baby BT d baby is not staying ooo.though we HV two girls already.learn from my experience keep d baby!! And get ursef a job to be able to sustain ursef and d baby cos he might not support u financially throughout d preg period BT weneva hr sees d baby I am very sure he will accept u and d baby.BT don’t think of divorce at all consider ur other kids,many women are going tru worst situatn in dia marriage yet dey r still dia cos of d children!!!
Pls don’t abort d pregnancy. Just be strong, braise up cos he’ll give you all manner of attitude. Take up d job and be strong for you and your children. Don’t think divorce just yet ok. God will see you through and make him d best husband you want him to be
pls keep ur baby
Take the job, keep the pregnancy and forget about him.
Don’t take offense at what he said that he doesn’t want a child now,I see nothing wrong with it,moreover you guys were on control(family planning)you both agree to put a stop for some time & I believe it was for a reason it wasn’t any body’s fault that it failed,taking care of a child does not only require money but sound mind,but since it has happen & you refuse aborting it get a job like you said & take care of the peggy
Ignore him and keep your baby
Na wa o
If you can’t stay in, please stay out. Marriage isn’t a life sentence.
from your post, there is no need leaving your home except there is something you are not telling us here. please keep your child some of people are praying for one yet nothing yet. get a job to take care of your child. thank you.
See what this Kelechi guy is saying. Men are the same shaa. Yr statement was good but u didn’t start well
Very selfish of him. Get a job and keep your baby
take up one of the job offers and cater for your baby
go 4 d job and leave ur baby, but my dear u need serious prayer because devil as arrive in ur house u need to send him back with serious prayer.
I will advice you not to abort the baby. That is a sin before God. From experience such men will later say they want more children later in the future which may stop coming after performing abortion. Take up a job for you to have enough to care for the unborn child. He may later in life love the child more than the others. it is a trial, I pray that you will not fail God under whatever pressure.