“How I fell into the trap of dating a married man,” A Single Lady Recounts

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A man asked me to date him a year ago and I agreed without knowing he was married. He’s in his 30s, so, I had asked him if he’s married and he told me a big ‘no’. He never wore a ring and he stays alone in Uyo where he works. Meanwhile, he kept his wife and son in Lagos. I even knew his house and it was exactly a bachelor’s house with nothing to suggest he had a wife.

Few months passed, and he kept travelling to Lagos to see his ‘parents’. He told me he was so lucky to have me in his life and that God will bless and keep our relationship. He kept sending money and gifts to me. He would spend just few days in Lagos and rush back to Uyo to be with me. Honestly, I was there picturing us together as a married couple in a few years.

I trusted him and soon told my siblings about him, telling them that he seemed serious with me. I come from a Christian family and I’d never tell my siblings if I was intentionally dating a married man. He really fooled me.

Then, one day, I felt so troubled when he started saying all those love stuffs and I don’t even know what made me ask, “Are you sure you are not married because you really don’t pick calls when in Lagos.” He swore he was not married and started begging me to stop hurting him with such questions. I agreed and few days later, I had a break from school and he wanted to be with me. Normally, I don’t snoop, but I remembered my suspicions about him and checked his phone.

Things looked okay till I saw very old pictures of him with a baby and a lady. I was shocked! I sent them to my phone and asked him few days later if he has a kid and he said no. I then sent the telltale pictures to him and he rushed over and started crying that he couldn’t afford to lose me.

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He said he could explain, and that he was not happy with his wife. He called the whole of the night and the next day, sending apology texts. He said it was an arranged marriage and that he’s in love with me and wanted us to be together. He said he never wanted to tell me about his marriage to avoid losing me and all that crap. This was someone that was always telling me to be faithful. I called him a liar and broke up with him.

I thank God for just one thing, that I had said no to premarital sex because it would have been too painful. He still tries to come around and sends friends to beg for him. I just wonder what he’s begging for because I know it can never work.