Dear MIMers: Hubby Doesn’t Want Me to Have His Baby
My hubby is over 25 years older than I am. We courted for about a year and I married him two years ago at 29, 3 years after his first wife’s death. They had 4 kids together and he has 3 others from previous relationships. His children are all grown and fortunately, they all embrace me as their stepmum, especially his late wife’s children, who call me ‘mummy’.
The problem, however, is that he doesn’t want to have more children. He told me frankly before we got married and I accepted, thinking we loved each other and I could change his mind or manipulate him somehow later on. My mum and siblings thought so too but I was so wrong!
Since we got married, it has been one long business trip after the other, and when he comes back, no matter how much I swear I’m on the pills, he still uses protection. Sometimes, I think I am no better than the host of paid helps I dish instructions to in that house. Some of my friends have been asking me why I’m not pregnant yet and I just keep lying that we’re trying. I didn’t know whether to laugh when a concerned aunt suggested seeking help after going out of her way to get a referral from a neighbour of hers who recently had a baby after a 5-year delay. I told her we were already getting fertility treatments, but how long will I continue with this pretence?
I feel like a tool he uses to satisfy his sexual urges and keep his home well managed. His family and kids are adorable but I also want some children of my own. I know I made a mistake by thinking things could be different once we got married but was blinded by love. How can I make him change his mind? Or is there any other way out of my dilemma?
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Hmmmmn, u ve to live with it cos u accepted from the beginning or leave to have a new life..which woman wont want to have her own children?
i really dont know what you can do to change is mind maybe you have to accept that fact or you quit the marriage…if you really desperate about having yours. or you just keep praying
Hmmm! Madam he told you from start without micing words about what he wanted from you, and you agreed. Now you are keeping up appearances, that could have been avoided. If anyone ask you, tell them you and your husband are not trying for kids yet. Give him more time, maybe he will change his mind, if not you can leave.
Hmmmmmm…..Just speechless for you to agree not to bear him children, which woman doesn’t like children. don’t worry you will have yours maybe through his mistake he will ejaculate or he will see reason with you, just continue to talk with him and never forget you GOD. God will help we woman for some silly mistake will make because of love. It is well
You’re just a senior house girl, what love are you talking about? We ain’t dumb, that guy is rich and you obviously married him because of the comfort involved that’s why you played deaf ears to the rules. Suck it up gurl, you asked for it.
Maybe you should blackmail him? Lol. Like tell him you will divorce him if he doesn’t give you a baby. But you already agreed to it from the onset so I don’t think this will work sef. You can pray about it too.
Hmm. I understand with him. He doesn’t want to be father Abraham. Madam it’s either you quit(which u can’t n won’t) n find love elsewhere or u remain childless n enjoy the money. But better still u can plead with him to let you v one. Manage that as u already agreed to b childless.
At 54, that man should not be raising kids. I blame him for marrying a young woman instead of going for an older person. Look, there’s more to marriage than kids. You’re lucky your step kids accept you, accept them as your kids that you will ever have and thank God for sparing you from the horrors of early child rearing. Further your studies, develop a career for yourself and stop trying to ruin your home. You accepted his conditions before marriage, don’t go back on your words. Accompany him on business trips, get freaky in the bedroom, enjoy your marriage. Truth is children leave home, you and the man would be left together eventually. Once again, please don’t destroy your home.
When you are not barren and a man asked you be one you gladly agreed, don’t even want to know the reason why you agree………The thought has not left me ever since I read your sorry situation. Tell him you’re not BARREN shikena!!!!
You married him and he told you point blank he did not want more children. You agreed. So why complain now? He already has seven so dont blame him for not wanting more. You should not have agreed with him in the first place if you knew you wanted children so two of you can agree. So please stick to your agreement and raise the ones he has already.
Dear ,you made a mistake from the start and thank God you acknowledged that yourself. Have you tried telling him how you feel about wanting to be a mother ? Truly he has a lot of kids already ! Just let him know you want to know the joy that comes with being a mother ,don’t nag about it while telling him
dear just remind him softly each time you have the opportunity. Wish you well.
my dear you deliberately accept his conditions seven children is even more than enough and now you are complaining, anyway sit him down and appeal to him to give you at least one child. and if hr said no way if you know you can’t coop with the condition again better leave. how can you take that because of poverty or what? so you just be there help him raised his children, have sex with him and of course eat his food. hmmmmmmm dear you need to wise up and use your brain o. and remember women have shorter time not like men. even at that age you don’t expect him to raise more baby again. Oga o
You agreed to it from the start so your husband’s mind is fixed that there’s an agreement btw you two. All you can do now if you are a born again child of God is to pray dat God will touch his heart and make him change his mind. Even if it’s one child cos you guys already have a house full.
D mistake s already done love buh der s nothin God cannot do.lift it up in prayers n c d wonders God can do.it s well.
Accept wat he said bcos if u eventually get pregnant for him he might end d marriage
Speechless!!!
I both agreed on it. I see no reason for u to complain. Think of this way of he agrees n I had the baby inventually they are twins n he chase u out n leave u to carry the responsibility all by itself without a helping hand. Tell me wat will u do. Think before u act.
Dear Poster, you were looking at money (greedy) and then you accepted the offer and now you have realised that you are supposed to have your own kids, when the man had clearly informed you from the onset that for him no more children, please do not breach that contract agreement, stay calm and enjoy the money, you heard it and accepted it, hear your self talk, you and your family tot at a long run, he will change his mind or you will change his mind. A man with almost 6 children, what children do you want him to go for again, hei! After his death if his WILL IS NOT WELL WRITTEN AND PROPERLY SHARED , there will be serious fight. So just keep calm and enjoy the money no wahala, it is well except you are ready to walk out of that marriage, which I don’t see you doing it, because you are already enjoying the money, Chai umuwaiyi na ego.
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Dunno why some ppl re telling u to pray, God is nt a stupid God. The man told u point blank before marriage and u accepted, he’s justified. You was d one who decided to play smart maybe cos u feel he’s rich nd could pay ur bills. My sister, siddon dey enjoy o,atleast u b madam fr house. Trying to coerce him into having an unprotected sex wt u may nt b a gud idea, he may end up hating u and/or the kid altogether. Na u get fault o
He already has seven kids,you saw all these and due to the comfort you accepted even his agreement of not having more kids,now you are not comfortable.at this point of his life its very understandable that he only needs a wife not a mother of his child,so accept the truth before he sees how desperate you are and stop touching you.