Dads’ Profile: Folorunsho Aliu Spills On Life As A Busy Dad & More

Folorunso  Aliu is the Managing Director of a leading ICT firm and also doubles as Project Director, Large and Strategic Projects, for the group of companies. He is married to Olujoke, a lawyer, and their marriage is blessed with a daughter and two sons; Ireifeoluwa, Eriifeoluwa and Eniifeoluwa.

He opens up on being an involved dad and more.

Your philosophies as a dad

“Be there for your family, consciously model values and principles that will guide their lives, commit them to God and enjoy family life. Instill discipline into your children but always ensure there’s a balance and that they have the assurance that they can always confide in and trust you.”

Tell us about your children

“My daughter has enough love for the whole of China. She always wants to care for everyone. My son on the other hand likes his space and prefers to be by himself, watch TV, read books and asks lots of questions. My second son is probably a mix of both of them. He’s a toddler, so I’m still trying to figure him out.”

How permissive would you say you are?

“I try not to be too permissive deliberately. Once in a while, I spoil the children but with a rider that life is not necessarily a fun ride all the time. Enforcing discipline is top priority and I try to be fair.”

Toughest decisions / sacrifices you’ve had to make

“Being a dad, and indeed a parent, involves making daily sacrifices/decisions. The sacrifices become a part of life or parenting, so, I don’t particularly keep tabs. One that readily comes to mind is moving my children from a pure Montessori school. It was a tough decision because I have always desired that for my children.”

How much quality interaction do you share with your kids in view of your work schedule?

“I’m very involved in their education and everyday lives. I try to drop them off and pick them from school by myself; my lunch hour is designated primarily to doing this. I also make sure I attend as many of their school activities as possible except when I’m out of town. I also supervise their school assignments, especially when their mum won’t be available. More importantly, except on very rare occasions, weekends are devoted entirely to my family and I prefer attending ‘family friendly’ functions so we can all go in the car. It affords my wife and I extra time with our kids.

It’s tough attending their school activities and spending quality time with them with so much demanding my attention at work. I simply prioritize and it works.”

What measures are you taking to imprint the right values?

“First thing is to create time and spend it with them. This affords me the opportunity to listen to them and when they ask questions (which they often do), it provides the avenue to teach them values. Most importantly, they watch everything I do and say, so I’m on my toes all the time because if I err, they are the first to correct me. Above that, I encourage them to individually build their relationship with God.”

From the current vibe you’re getting, where do you see each of them heading in terms of career choice?

“I think my daughter would most likely be in the Arts, or some field of endeavour which provides the opportunity for her to serve and interact with people. My first son on the other hand, seems to be inclined towards Engineering, Science, and maybe something that allows him dream and invent. I’m still studying my other son.”

Fondest memory with them

“We are still creating them. Every day is a new and an exciting opportunity to create memories. My son for example woke up one day and decided to act as the butler for the entire house, taking our drink orders in Queen’s English, bowing and excusing himself to bring the drinks. It was thrilling to watch him.”

Comparing your home to the one you were raised in, what major difference is there and how is this rubbing off on your children’s upbringing?

“My dad died while I was a teenager, so, my mum was solely responsible for my siblings and I, and she did a very good job. Growing up without a dad made me a decision maker at an early age. I had to grow up pretty quickly to show my younger ones (my sister and four brothers) direction and it was tough for a teenager. I do not pray or wish that for any growing child. Children should have the opportunity to be children. This influences my decisions on a daily basis to spend as much time as I can with my children and allow them be children.”

A few tips for other dads

“Spend time with your children. Time flies and we have very little time to imprint all the right values. Don’t leave the duty of instilling values in them to their mum alone or outsiders. It’s your primary responsibility. Once they become teenagers, you may no longer be the primary go-to person in their lives and that’s when you’d wish you could reach them. It may be too late then if they have never seen you as the go-to person before then. It is tough; very tough but doable if we put our minds to it. If every home makes it priority to raise responsible children, what a better world we’d all have!”