Chinwe Kalu: My 5th Child Made Me Remember How I Played In The Rain Without A Raincoat

A few nights ago, I went into my daughters’ room to check up on them. They had been asleep for about an hour, and I was checking to see they were well tucked. We have been dealing with mosquitoes since the rains began, so, I decided to use some insect repellent cream on my little girl who’s been meat for them in recent times.

I did all that and disturbed her sleep a little. As I got up to leave, she reached out her hand and said, ‘Mummy, don’t go.’ She nodded when I asked, ‘You want me to stay?’ Her eyes were half closed as I lay beside her. She held my hand and went back to sleep with a small smile on her lips. Her world was complete.

I watched her get back to deep sleep and my thoughts went back to her conception and birth. I smiled but then, it was not funny.

You see, she’s my fourth child, in fact my fifth. We lost the first one. I had closed the childbearing chapter in my life. For someone who was never sure she would have any children at all, I was fine with three.

I am one of those women who do not ovulate when I am actively breastfeeding. But as soon as my babies start to skip feeds, my cycle starts all over again. For me, it was a great birth control tool. Not one I would recommend though. My children were all born about the same time, June, July, July and August.

My third baby had not even stopped breastfeeding when I went to the doctor to fix an IUD. I fixed this device but I was very uncomfortable. It was actually painful. I thought the pain would go away after a few days but it didn’t. Then I got worried. My concern was that the pain probably meant it was not well fixed, which meant it could mess me up. So, I went back to the clinic to have it removed. I thought I should wait a few days before fixing another one.

That was my mistake, or maybe allowing my husband make love to me without a device. I played in the rain without a raincoat, my friends would later tease me. No cover, no protection. I was pregnant in two weeks. Can you imagine?

I already had three children. What would I need a fourth one for? I knew an abortion was not an option, so I was close to depression. I was also embarrassed. How does an educated, exposed woman get pregnant against her will? It just did not make sense.

I was still lying next to her as I kept reminiscing. How did I settle the matter? My faith in Jesus kept me sane. I cried but never went over the brink. On a particular Sunday, as we drove to church, I asked for a word of comfort. I got a direct word right from the pulpit. ‘I know you don’t want this baby, but just go ahead and have it anyway.’ That was the point I found peace and acceptance.

For previous pregnancies, I would have a name for the baby way ahead of birth but for this one I just could not figure it out. Finally, short of calling her ‘Baby’, we came up with Netochukwu which means keep praising the Lord. That was what we did.

Here she is now, my pretty little girl, all grown up! She’s the icing on the cake.

When she was about 8, she wanted to know how babies enter their Mummy’s womb. After much pressure, I gave her an elementary lesson on sex. Guess what she said, ‘Mummy, that means you and Daddy did it five times’. She was also counting her late sister. She just always brings a smile to your face. She’s just a treasure. Motherhood, for me, is richer with Neto. It could not be better.

After the trip down memory lane that night, I sent one up, ‘Thank you Lord.’ I then slipped out of the room before she woke up again. Motherhood is such a wonderful experience, especially with a child like Neto.