Excerpts From Motherhood In-Style Magazine’s Interview With Annie Idibia

Beautiful Nollywood actress, entrepreneur, mum and wife of legendary singer, 2Baba, Annie Idibia, graced Motherhood In-Style Magazine‘s Volume 4 Issue 6. She opened up on growing up, her parents’ divorce, marriage to her long-time love whom she met at 15, their daughters; Isabelle and Olivia, relationship with her husband’s baby mamas, her stepkids, and more.

Read excerpts below.

On growing up

“In the beginning, it was nice and fun growing up with boys; I had three brothers then, and was the only girl. Then, the low moments came; my parents got divorced. That lead to a new life, fresh struggles, and then I lost my younger brother.

All through my studies, apart from when I was in Bodija International School, Ibadan and Victoria Island Secondary School, I was a part-time student because I had to work. I started working at 15. My mum was doing the best she could to raise us single-handedly; it wasn’t easy, so all of us did one job or the other to support the family. I’ve been a sales girl in a boutique, was a marketer in a magazine company, then, I started modelling. I’ve done so many modelling jobs. I’m happy all that has shaped me to be this person I am today. My elder brothers too are married with a son each.”

On her parents’ divorce

“It affected us negatively. It was so hard on us then. It’s not an experience I would want my kids to have to go through because when you’re used to being with two parents and suddenly, you’re caught between who you’re going to live with or mummy takes you and you’re left wondering why daddy didn’t. It’s so emotional.

My brothers and I, with my mum’s help and God’s grace, scaled through it. And the truth is, this alone would make me want to make sure that my kids don’t go through the kind of pain I went through, emotionally especially, and then in school, it affected us, you know, peer pressure, and when you see both parents come for parents’ meeting, parties, and all in school, you feel very bad. We didn’t have the privilege of having our mum and dad attend with us. So, it was always, mummy or one of our aunties. I don’t want that for my kids. Even academically, it affected me a lot.

My mum is a very strong woman, she scaled through it. She’s my best friend, we’re always together. And my dad is not such a bad person too, we’re cool now, he’s in Akwa-Ibom.

My mum was a full housewife when she was with my dad, but after the divorce she had to look for something to do to take care of her 4 kids and we all had to do minor jobs to help out.

Maybe if I didn’t go through that, I wouldn’t understand the pains of divorce and how it would affect the children. At the same time, I’ve learnt that life is not a bed of roses. That experience has made me more focused and stronger. It’s made me the woman that I am and a better mother to my kids. Then, it makes me try to make sure my marriage works too so my children don’t have to go through divorce and all the pains associated with it.”

So, you’re married to Tuface, tell us about him

“No, I’m married to Innocent, one of the most amazing men in the world (laughs). I want to believe our marriage is almost like every other marriage, he’s a good person, he’s a good dad, great husband, a wonderful brother-in-law, a wonderful son-in-law, and he’s all that I thought he would be as a husband and more.”

Why do you think he chose you?

“Well, I don’t know, I mean, he’s in a better position to answer that. I can’t answer that question for him. I just know we always had that connection from the onset.”

How did you meet?

“I met him right before my 15^th birthday in the studio. I was working on something at Even Extra Studios and he was recording with Blackface and Tony Tetuila then, so I was going in and he was coming out, we met, and to cut the long story short, today, we’re married with two kids.”

Top low and high moments in your relationship

“I think it would be the first time I heard that other people were having his baby, the second should be when we both sat down and agreed to end the relationship. We realized it couldn’t work and decided to break up. That was after I had Isabella. His proposal was a high moment; the way he went about it was special. And my wedding! I didn’t think we were going to end up together, and that’s the honest truth.”

What kind of dad is he?

“He’s awesome, his kids are his buddies; all his kids. He tries to be there for everyone of them. Even when he’s busy, he tries to make out them to be with them. He travels to see his other kids in the US, so, he really tries. Generally, I’d say he’s a great dad. He loves his kids. He’s very involved. He helps them with their assignments, he studies with them, picks them up from school sometimes. We go to Isabel’s special events at school together, like inter-house sports, when she’s performing or playing her violin.”

So, what do you wish you could take back or change?

“I wish I was the mother of all his kids (laughs); the seven of them. But they are my kids, I just wish I was their biological mum. They’re awesome; you cannot help but love them. Everything else has made everything better.”

Tell us a few spots you both like to hang out that hold special memories from the past

“My husband and I are very traditional people oh, you may not believe that. There’s a tree in Festac; once you drive into Festac, there’s this Mr. Biggs, right opposite that eatery, there’s a tree, that spot was our spot for a very long time. He writes his songs under that tree, we hang out there a lot, the memories are still fresh. You know, when you’re with a man like Innocent, most of the time when you’re not in a place that is like that; where there’s just nature, you’re actually really not there with him alone, every other person is intruding, if you know what I mean. Our favourite spot is usually our bedroom, a hotel room or with nature; where there’s nobody; somewhere that’s cool and just us.”

Your husband has kids from other women, how does this affect the dynamics of your marriage?

“I won’t say it’s easy, I will not lie to you. I mean, you have kids with people, are you going to be their enemy? You have to have at least some civil relationship with them; you have to be very civil but God has been very faithful, and it’s still God all the way because it’s really not easy. I do not regret being with my husband but I would not want my daughter to be married to a man that has kids with other women, naturally. You know, it doesn’t make me love him less or feel like I don’t want to be here, I’m happy that I’m here, I don’t love him less, but I would not wish that for my daughter because even if the man is in, how about the other parties involved? But then, like I said, it’s key to be civil.”

Can you tell us one instance where this has affected your marriage?

“Even if conflicts come up, we always sit down and sort it out. There is no marriage that is perfect or made in heaven, but then every single fight that you overcome only makes you stronger and closer. So, sometimes, the fights are good. The conflicts make you understand each other more. Regardless of the fact that we’ve know each other for so many years, there are still a lot to learn about each other. Living together as husband and wife is quite different from when you’re coming to visit. So, those fights make you closer and stronger. Then, he knows the things I don’t like in that area and I know what he doesn’t like too.”

How much bond do you share with your step-children? You post pictures of the boys…

“Yeah, I love my boys! I wish I could share the same with the others, but at least I know with Nino and Zion, my daughter is crazy about them and vice versa. We have a very good relationship. They almost do not understand the different mother thing because they’re kids. I have a very good relationship with the boys and their mum. My daughter has a good relationship with their mum too.

MIM: That’s Sumbo?

“Yes. And, it’s been all good. Those kids are awesome.”

MIM: What about Pero?

“They’re faraway, so, I can’t say. I try to keep it civil with everybody; I make sure I’m accessible enough. The kids come visiting. I try to be civil in a way that they are comfortable with allowing their kids to visit their dad. I mean, I’m cool if you’re cool.”

To motherhood now, what kind of mum are you?

“I try to be strict in a loving way. I show love first, and then I discipline a little, and show love. I don’t believe in spanking children, not that I won’t spank my child but I just believe if you do it too much, they get used to it and it becomes ineffective. I believe in talking to my kids; making them understand my perspective and dishing out consequences for misbehaviour. I believe there has to be a consequence for doing something wrong. If she misbehaves, I could deprive her of doing things she likes to do and make her study all through; no watching of TV, no playing of games, and she can’t come downstairs, and it works.”

Who is the disciplinarian?

“It’s my husband. You will not believe it but my husband is actually stricter on the kids than I am, and because he’s so strict on them, I try to be subtle. He’s like, ‘Don’t do this’ or ‘You did it, oya, upstairs!’ He’s like that; very strict, and will not allow his kids misbehave or be disrespectful. You cannot be his son or daughter and be disrespectful. I think I’m the soft one.”

Pregnancy is different for every woman, what was it like for you?

“I had CS for both kids. With Isabel, it was good, with Olivia, it was horrible. I was sick all through my second pregnancy, and it was difficult. With Isabel, it was easy.”

So, more kids soon?

“I have seven kids already. Maybe. I may add one more.

MIM: A son?

“It doesn’t matter, it could be another girl, but not anytime soon actually, my baby has to grow up. Maybe in the future, yes, if God gives us, we’ll tell him thank you and take it.”