Dear MIM: How Do I Stop My Headstrong Husband From Doing This To Our Daughter?
I’m married with two children and my husband’s family dislikes me tremendously (I won’t say hate) mainly because I am not from their tribe and I’m not the kind of girl they want their son to be married to. According to them, they prefer the docile, doormat type.
My husband is a prominent person who is also vying for a political position in his hometown, acting on my advice. The problem is, all of a sudden, he wants our older daughter to always go to his village with him. Usually, I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but she is below 3 and very friendly, a little too much at times. I sometimes worry she may just follow a stranger willingly. And because of the nature of work my husband is doing there (politics), he will not be able to have time to take care of her properly, plus, I am scared that his opponents might seek to harm my child.
I have tried my possible best to explain these to him. In fact, I told him about the bad dreams I have been having and he knows I nurse serious anxiety concerning the issue. I have never travelled anywhere with my daughter alone because he won’t condone it, not even to leave her with my mother for a few days, yet, he wants to go and leave her in a village where she doesn’t know anybody. She can’t even talk properly and only speaks English, hence, communicating with people over there will be a challenge.
The other alternative is for me to go with them which I honestly can’t. I don’t trust his family because due to some of their behaviour towards me, I feel they can harm me. I have told him that I will go only on the condition that he completes his house which he is working on because I honestly can’t stay in his family house. I feel like he will take sides with them even if they harm me or my children because they have no respect or love for me and they have made that very clear. My children are both girls and they do not value girls at all where he comes from. I do not intend to risk my life or that of my children at all. My injuries from their births haven’t even healed yet.
He is now threatening to marry another woman who will be going there with him if I refuse to go and that he will take my child along by force. To be honest, I don’t care if he marries 10 more women as long as they don’t come to my home, but as for taking my child to some village to leave in the hands of people who are virtually my enemies? That I can’t agree to.
My question is, how do I stop him? He is very intent on taking her along just for show.
My dear free ur mind for ones haba go with him if he says u shld ad allow ur girl to go with him too pls always be positive in thinking
No comment
He want your daughter to experience village life, maybe understand the language & so on but she is too young for this
I believe your daughter is too young to go alone with him because he won’t even have the time to care for her. So I suggest you free your mind and go with them. When you are there, try as much as possible not to be pissed with whatever they do and always stay on your own to avoid troubles since you say they don’t like you. Please don’t let him go alone with her it’s not safe.
My dear, go with them. They are your people too; or didn’t you call him your husband? You are one. Please go with him and be everything you can. Don’t expose your child. She is too young for now.
She is too young..
I do not trust his reasons, politics is a dirty game..
They do not value girl children…
He is asking to go there with yours..
My sista, shine your eyes…
Before dem use your pikin do sacrifice…
Your child can be abused and nobody will apologize.
They see her as nothing or evil coming from you
You will only cry or pack out….
And he will marry another wife as he has planned..
To get the wife and sons they always wanted
You need to follow him to the village and monitor your daughter. You need to make that sacrifice for her.
Meanwhile don’t say that you don’t mind your husband marrying other women as long as they don’t come near your home. Polygamy means that you share your home with another woman who now has equal rights with you. Your only option would be to move out or stay. Don’t wish for the worst. Settle down to a compromise.
She is too young for such exposure. So I would advise you go there with him. You don’t like the idea but do it for the safety of your daughter and for peace in your home. Don’t worry about his family harming you or the kids but also be careful
This doesn’t even sound like marriage to me.
I think you have to make out time and follow them to the village for the safety of your daughter. mind you, you are already married to the family try as much as you can to show love to your husband. and pray for change in your home
hmmmmnn…just go with them..that child is too young as u go always pray on ur self and ur baby
Pls encourage him not with ur heart o but with love, show some smiles, you go with him even b4 he make mention f the village make a move ask him about the village and how you are going to follow him and b4 him don’t ever say evil of his family, Men don’t like it and above all be very prayerful on no condition should u live ur children alone not to talk of ur hubby. All these has happened to most women but it’s grace we are enjoying. My dear don’t let it bother u follow him and be patient with anything u hear or they say to u na bcos of ur hubby. @ list b4 u marry them they have given u sign but bcos u love him or othe wise u ise strong head and marry him. Ore be prayerful