“I love my son…but nothing beats raising three girls!” – Chinwe Kalu

I got a BB message saying it was Daughters’ Week sometime ago. I was quick to put up a picture of my three daughters on my profile for the week. This got me watching them closely. They all look alike, particularly the older two. However, despite their similar looks, they are so different, it’s amazing.

I recall that before I started having children, I wanted one son and many daughters. Then, I told myself if I was going to have 10 children, I would like one son and nine daughters. In fact, my desire to have daughters was so strong that when the doctors announced my son’s sex, I broke into tears. I did not know what I would do with a male child. I had wanted a daughter so badly. Eventually, the girls came. Beautiful and lovely.

First, came Maruche. I had just started working in a bank and was not supposed to get pregnant yet when it happened. I was scared I would lose the job – I really needed it at the time. We were a young family with so many needs. The job was a lifeline. Then, it occurred to me to abort the pregnancy. At that point, I said to myself, “Chinwe, you have gone stark, raving mad. Can a job become so important that you would even consider an abortion?” I soon got past that.

It was a very trying time of my life because though I did not lose the bank job, I had to work like I was not pregnant in a high stress department. It was tough. I worked until the day she was born, and when I looked at her in the delivery room, I was grateful for her. She was worth all the trouble.

Ginika came two years later. Pretty, with a head full of hair. We often teased her for having the hair for all the girls in the family. I got a flash of her name on my way to work and knew I was about to have another baby girl. Behold, she arrived few months later.

I thought I was done, then, Neto showed up very unexpectedly. You know the story already (read here). I was not ready for her but she was here to stay. I transited from shock to depression, questions and then acceptance. She became the icing on the cake.

I feel a deep sense of gratitude for each of them. Neto is the extrovert, Ginika, the introvert, and Maruche swings from one to the other. Maruche loves and does house chores with joy, Ginika does very reluctantly, and Neto gets in the way. Ginika is the genius while the others do very well, she is exceptional!

I deal with menstrual cycles, bras, underwears, jewellery, fashion, makeup, boys lurking in the background…the list is endless. But, I do love and appreciate every minute of it. I love teaching them to cook and keep the house. I love teaching them about God, helping them understand how much they need Him in their everyday lives.

I love my son, Dikachi who is older than them all, but nothing beats raising three girls! He used to desire a brother but it never happened. I have not had a difficult time raising him. In fact, he’s never given me reason to despair or worry but being Mum to my daughters feels special. I used to think they would be easier to raise, now I know better.

If you want good kids, boys or girls, it takes time, effort, grit, energy and lots of compassion. None is easier to raise than the other but I simply love mothering daughters. It’s an amazing experience. If you have daughters, I’m sure you think so too.