8 Key Ways To Raise A Well-Rounded Child

Ndidi Adekunle

All and sundry will agree that what constitutes a well-rounded child for Dick (or Dorothy) is very likely to be different from Harry’s (or Harriet’s) idea. That said, a balanced, well-rounded young child is happy with himself, with you, not easily moved by what other people are doing or the ‘bling bling’ in other children’s lives, and upright.

What then do we do as parents to raise wholesome children and set them on the right track to live happy and content lives? Find 8 key things to do below.

1. Build Self Esteem

Only a child who’s confident in himself can show a consistent happy face. Low self esteem can be blamed for most of the problems that young children encounter both at school, in social situations, at home, or anywhere else. Confident children are more likely to try new things and are less afraid of failing. Build in your children the idea that they’re capable, and that you believe in them. Encourage them to try new activities always, and praise the effort or process rather than the end product.

2. Emphasize Areas Of Strength

You can play a little dinner time game of ‘why does everyone like Junior,’ where everyone takes turns to tell Junior what they know his strengths are, like, Junior likes to smile, Junior is helpful, he makes amazing drawings, he’s always first to wake up, and so on. Coming from the people he cares the most about, this is a sure confidence booster for any child.

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3. Regular To-Dos

Give them regular chores that are realistic and appropriate for their age. Also give them plenty of opportunity to solve their own minor problems. Practice at problem solving will teach them to have a positive outlook to any problem they encounter.

In addition, use star charts around the house, as a non bank breaker reward system. You can always get art supplies for your chart at art shops. Record their small victories and achievements and watch their confidence soar.

Help them set goals and stick to them. It’s never too early to teach your children to make daily to-do lists, and check mark them in felt tips or coloured pen for extra fun. Remind them though that they can’t always get what they want, preparing them for those inevitable times of unexpected outcomes.

4. Appreciation Notes

Once they can read, leave notes of appreciation under their pillows and in their lunch boxes, on birthday cards, Christmas cards, and the likes. Works for daddy too.

Balance it out however with objective feedbacks. For instance, if you need to point out to your young child something he didn’t do quite right, by all means, do, but be objective about it by beginning with a strength or positive thing he did before you strike your point with the thing he did not do right. This works with adults, and even more so with young children.

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5.  Build Resilience
Parents should protect their young children but not inadvertently begin to ‘hover’ over them. Kids must learn to be independent (as age appropriate), to remain confident and not broken, in the face of life’s hardships, frustrations, difficulties, loss, rejection, change, disappointment, failure, conflict, or fear. When they do face such situations though, try not to exaggerate them, and emphasize the fact that other children face similar circumstances. If possible, tell them of your own similar experiences, and the positive things you did in order to deal with the situation.

6. Consistent Environment

Charity, they say, begins at home. A home where limits and boundaries are consistent is a great positive influence on young children. Such an environment provides them with the much needed structure. Young children like to know what to expect in most situations, if not every situation. They may even test the boundaries, but that’s really all that it is. They need you to be stern and will come to appreciate and respect you the more for loving them enough and giving the time required to hold out on your own rules.

7. Courtesy
A courteous child is admired and liked by everyone. A young child who’s been taught a level of social skills expected of his age: the 5 magic words, the proper way to greet, respect for elders, and the likes, is always a delight to all. Such a child will be the happier for it as he is bound to be better accepted and even welcome into various social circles, all because he is amiable and shows a healthy respect for other people.

8. Help Unwind

The modern day child is as busy as ever, what with all the activities at school, not to talk of the extra curricula. There’s so much structure in their lives these days, you begin to wonder what happened to the days of ‘free periods’ at school, for instance.
It’s our responsibility to constantly devise creative and fun ways to help them unwind while having fun and learning something new and useful.

In all, every positive parenting outcome is always as a result of calculated effort and modelling expected behaviours, not mere happenstance. Desire it, plan towards it and dedicate time and efforts into making it happen. Remember though, perfection isn’t the goal, but consistent effort.