Dear MIMsters: Am I Really To Blame For My Sister’s Unhappy Marriage?

I’ve been married for 12 years with two kids. The thing is, I got married at 20 before my older sister who was 27 then. My husband is a wealthy man who never tied me down in marriage, rather, he encouraged me to continue my education and become what I wanted to be. Because of that, we only started having kids within the last three years.

Meanwhile, my sister and I are very close. We talk about virtually everything. A few months after my marriage, my sister started getting depressed that she had no suitors and felt neighbours were laughing at her and think she is wayward because I married before her. I prayed and calmed her down with words of encouragement.

Thankfully, four years ago, my sister married my husband’s close friend. However, they are yet to have children. The whole family has been praying and believing God for them.

Last week, I paid her a visit with my newborn. She took the baby and started playing with him. As she was making those funny faces and using baby voice, she made a comment I wasn’t very happy about. She said, “I wonder why you and your brother look like your mum. None of you resemble your dad.” I asked her what she meant by that, and she boldly told me, “How can a woman get pregnant for a man when all he does is to f***k her as*?”

I was confused, so tried to find out. She then told me that her husband never f***ks her vagina, that he only enjoys her as*, and he even told her my husband also does that to me and therefore suspects that I’ve been making babies for my hubby with other men. I was angry. Not because of what she said, but because she foolishly listened to those lies – a very educated woman at that. I told her that my husband and I have never and will never do that.

She then turned around and accused me of connecting her to a gay who needed to marry to cover up his as*. I told her that it was her duty to study the man and not rush into marriage because I got married first, adding that neither my husband nor I forced the man on her. We weren’t there when he proposed to her.

She subsequently started raining curses on me for deceiving her into a bad marriage and I told her, ‘bad marriage but you enjoy the luxury.’ I also told her to talk to her man not me. I then left her house and went home.

Two days later, she came to our house in anger, insulting my husband. She called him a ritualist and all. I called the security man to walk her out, and since then, she’s stopped talking to me.

Please, was I wrong in helping my sister date my husband’s friend? Was I suppose to study a man for her? Please help me. My sister is also on this page.