Dear MIMster: Should I Confess My Infidelity To My Unfaithful Husband?

I need your help here. I deserve all the insults I will receive on this page but I know it will save my life.

My marriage has been in many troubles throughout. I have been married for the past 5 years without children. The first 3 years was hell for me because my husband was going out with a girl he date while he was dating me. (I didn’t know because he introduced her to me as a friend).

One day before we got married, I was in a car with my fiancé when this lady called and he spoke with her for about 10 minutes because the lady wanted him to buy her lunch. I took the phone from him and told the her we were getting married the following month so if she is a friend to my boo, she has to be my friend too. She told me she was aware but because I had texted her to stop forcing herself on my guy in the past, she has decided to continue the affair with him.

We got married and my husband still constantly called (sometimes in my presence), texted, and visited this lady and would even spend the night in her house. I prayed, talked with him, told my parents and his parents to speak to him but he always denied the affair in front of his parents but continued doing the same things.

One day, he locked me at home and went to see the lady. So, I rang my nephew who drove to our house. I gave him a spare key to open the gate from outside so I could go out. Then I drove to the lady’s house. I saw my hubby’s car packed there, so I went to call his mother. I was able to convince my mother-in-law to drive to the lady’s house with me and she did.

When we got there, I told my husband to choose one. His girlfriend or me and to my face, he told me that he chose her. I was so shocked that I packed my things and moved out of my matrimonial home. He came begging later and asked his friend to apologise to me on his behalf. Then my husband, his friend, his mistress and I had a conference call when he told the lady it was over between them. The lady accepted on phone.

I thought everything was okay till about 5 months later when I realized my husband was still in contact with her through chats and phone calls in my absence. I was so confused and thought God had abandoned me because my marriage was not working and I was also not able to have children after all the fasting and prayers, and two IUI attempts.

There is this married man at my work place who has been complimenting my good looks. I became friends with him and we started having an affair. My husband suspected it and he changed totally.

I fell in love with this married man (I know it is wrong) and now he has also realized what he is doing is wrong and has left me. I’ve been praying to God to forgive me and restore all I have lost, most importantly, my dignity. I have decided to return every penny this married man gave me and confess to my husband for forgiveness.

My question is should I go ahead with the confession?