Activists, Yinka & Joe Odumakin Open Up On Their Love Story & More

In an interview with Punch, women’s rights activist, Dr. Joe Okei-Odumakin and her husband, National Publicity Secretary of ‘Afenifere’, Yinka Odumakin, who have been married for 19 years, share on how they met, married life as public figures, secret to their happy marriage and more.

On how they met

Yinka: We met in the heady days of the most brutal dictatorship in the history of Nigeria; the repressive government of the late General Sani Abacha. We met at a detention facility in Alagbon where she was transferred from Ilorin, Kwara State, after her detention over some pro-democracy campaigns.

I had read the name in the newspapers before then but I thought the person was a man. Two persons and I were picked alongside Chief Gani Fawehinmi at a rally in Lagos and taken to the same facility. When we saw her there, chief stopped and greeted her and asked if I knew her. I said no. He then introduced us and I told him that I thought she was a man. That was our first contact and we thereafter became comrades and later friends. The rest as they say is history.

Yinka: I was first attracted by her guts. I was swept off my feet that a woman could be that bold in a season where a lot of men were lily-livered.

Joe: Like the circumstances that led to our meeting and eventual resolve to become husband and wife, what attracted me to him was his courage. At that point in time, I was unwilling to be in company with anyone who could discourage me from the cause I have faced squarely. Therefore, he became someone who perfectly fit into that desire.

On married life as public figures

Joe: We have continued to grow to accept as our own inevitable reality because it puts so much outside responsibilities on us, than even our domestic and immediate families’ demands. That nonetheless, we are not negatively affected because of our passion for what we do, which is the basis for our being seen as public figures.

We got married on November 4, 1997. To the glory of God, it will be 19 good years of fruitful marriage.

He perfectly suits my kind of man and I will marry him over and over again.

On creating time for each other amid their busy schedules

Yinka: Life is about setting priorities and living one’s passion. It becomes stress free once one is living one’s dream. Every hour of one’s life counts and one should be able to cut away time-wasting exercises. One gives up certain things to pursue the things that are important to one. We have discovered that many people spend a great percentage of their time doing things that add no value to their lives or living to please societal expectations even when such do not align with their goals. The first most important thing in life is to have a clear idea of where one is going and focus on it. Within that prism, we have been able to strike a balance between public life and private space.

Joe: Even though our individual engagements have limited the time we should normally have for hanging out either privately or for social engagements, we still create time periodically to hang out as couples.

On their first disagreement

Yinka: Our first disagreement that I remember was that after marriage, my wife wanted us to live outside Lagos because she had been used to the serene and peaceful ambience of Ilorin where she spent many years. But I insisted on Lagos.

Joe: I recall that it was basically due to my desire to live in Ilorin after our marriage because I had spent a good part of my life there. I enjoyed the serenity and the relatively stress-free life there. My major reason for being in Lagos during the time was for activism. It was eventually resolved and today, I have become more comfortable in Lagos than anywhere else I can find myself in the world.

On lessons learned from their marriage

Yinka: The major lesson learnt so far is that we have been able to shatter the wrong perception that a couple who both have strong views and character cannot sustain a marital union. Every marriage has its occasional challenges but the enduring human spirit and undying commitment subdue them all. The loss of our daughter 17 years ago was one tragedy that took us a while to get over but God was able to heal the pain.

Joe: Marriage is an institution where one can never be certified outstanding. One can never graduate from the institution of marriage because day in, day out, there are lessons to be learnt. But I must say that I have learnt a lot about being able to realise the need to be supportive of one’s spouse if one really desires to achieve the home of one’s dream.

On pet names for each other

Yinka: We started out as comrades in the trenches and that is what we still call each other.

Joe: I call him comrade.

On the secrets of their successful marriage

Yinka: We have aligned our marital life with our vision of life and surrendered the rest to the Almighty God .We have also learnt to respect ourselves with the capacity to allow the other to pursue chosen course of action based on conviction even when the other person has reservations. We have equally developed a strong ear power over the years to be able to listen very well to each other.

On why they think most celebrity marriages do not last?

Joe: In my opinion, it is due to lack of understanding of each of the parties before signing the pact of marriage. Most times, what attracts some of the celebrities to marriages has been terminated untimely. It is either the fame of either of the partners and not necessarily the quality inherent in such person. Therefore, the moment there is a decline in the quality, they find it difficult sustaining the love.

Photo Credit: Punch