Dear MIMsters: He Said He Was Single And I Fell In Love But See What I Found Out
He is a part-time lecturer in my school who looks very young and single. When he asked me out, I was single and asked him if he is married or not because I don’t date married men for any reason in the world. He told me he is single, so, I gladly went into the relationship because I saw the things I want in a man in him.
However, when he took me to his house here in school, his house looked nothing like the impression I had of him – he only had a bed and small TV in his apartment. That made me ask him if he had a house elsewhere and he said his family house is in another town but the same state. I agreed but told him I will like to visit there someday and he agreed but my mind kept telling me there was something about this guy that is really not right.
Then, I had a dream. It was the first day I slept in his house. He called me in the dream and told me he would be getting married in a week’s time and I wept badly in that dream – I felt I had been crying when I woke up too.
I was glad it was only a dream when I woke up, still, I confronted and begged him to tell me if he is married and he insisted he is not. Days later, I was able to go through his phone and saw a conversation between him and a lady. The lady was wishing him a happy new month and he said, ‘I wish you same my wife, take care of yourself and my baby.’ At that point, it was as if I should kill myself because I felt I just did what I never wanted to – dating a married man.
I stopped talking to him and warned him never to call my number again but he kept asking what he did. When I told him, he said the lady is his brother’s wife and they all call her ‘my wife’. He also confessed that he has a daughter from a lady but could not marry her because her parents disapproved of their marriage as she is their first daughter and can’t marry someone who is not from their town. He added that he decided to take his daughter from them and she is with his mum.
Somehow, I found myself believing him, though I was still not 100% convinced. I decided to give the benefit of the doubt because I thought no man would deny his family just to have an affair with a lady. Besides, when I checked his phone, I did not see any woman’s pictures. It was his daughter’s that was all over.
So, we started the relationship again in full force and I found myself loving him as if he meant the whole world to me. I soon got close to one of his friends and capitalized on our friendship to investigate my doubts. I told him he should please tell me if his friend is married. At first, he told me his friend was the best person to answer the question but I kept begging until he opened up and told me he is legally married and even held a white wedding.
I wept bitterly that day because I have sinned against God and his wife, yet, I am so much in love with this man. My problem now is, I can’t tell him what I know because he will know I got the information from his friend. I have told him to take me to his family house, that I want to meet his daughter and mum. However, he said I can’t meet them now, that he can only take a lady to his family if he is ready to marry her in six months time and he is not ready to marry me by that time.
I was subsequently able to get his full name and found him on Facebook where I saw some pictures of him with his wife.
Please, what should I do because I have thought of calling his wife. Please you can insult me, I will take it, but just tell me how to get this guy off my back forever.
Confront him with the pictures u found on Facebook so u don’t implicate his friend! He’s a stupid guy!
You are a good woman so insulting you is totally out of it. You were excused because you acted ignorantly but now you know PLEASE get him off your back any way possible. You could look for a way to provoke him and capitalize on that to end the relationship without necessarily implicating his friend. Or you could tell him to back off and face his family that you found out the truth via Facebook. Whatever the case please discontinue the affair for your future’s sake
You have to confront him
my dear confront him.uselesss man
Confront him with the proof. He is a deceiver, the very first day your instinct told you he is married, you should have flee; anyways go start a new life
Yes, confront him with the hard and undeniable evidences found on his Facebook, but I advise the confrontation shouldn’t be when you and him are alone. He could hurt you. Maybe you can consider a quiet place in an eatery where you could politely without creating a scene confront him and permanently end it there. Very wicked guy!
I think you should just quit the relationship. Avoid him and if he persistently ask you why, tell him you found out he was married. The how should not be his concern. Forgive yourself and move on. It is well.
I had posted a write up on facebook capitalizing on this issue. It’s funny the extent men are willing to lie just to satisfy the flesh. I just pity his wife though. And I guess the poor woman would believe her husband is a saint. I’ve had friends I’ve not been in contact with for a while and have had them lie to me exactly the same way he lied to you. Have also met men that have said the same lie. Unfortunately for them, I am smart and not open to relationships either but I have found great satisfaction in telling them straight on that I know what they think i don’t. Unless a man and his wife have never been on on the internet, I always get whatever info I need about them and I loved mocking them to their face. Funny thing is they never feel ashamed but either way, I always satisfy my curiousity and my ego because I endup telling my self I’m the smartest lady I know (Just saying).
I feel bad how they tarnish their wife’s image and label her as not being good enough. No woman deserves that especially if she is a good wife andd a good mother. That’s so unfair. But my advice to you: You may be in love with him but love founded on falsehood always crashes. He’s not worth loving dear. Face him straight on and move on. In our world today, Ladies you need to be smart and do your homework before falling in love in order to avoid stories that touches the heart.
no need to confront him, just walk away and start over with someone else, when he calls you tell him to concentrate on his family and leave you alone.