Dear MIM Readers: My Ex-husband Wants Me Back, How Do I Know He’s Really Changed?
I got married to this guy and had a child because I was tired of being single. A few months into the marriage, I found out that he was a chronic cheat and verbally abusive. All my life, this is something I had vowed that I will not put up with. I prayed and prayed but he persisted. I got tired of fighting and tried to live in denial until I was becoming a shadow of my former self in that marriage.
Then, I decided to take the bull by the horn. I saved up until I was able to get a place, meanwhile, I had started looking for a job. When I found one, I moved out with my daughter and filed for a divorce. It was tough but better than the bad marriage I had left behind. Some of my friends called me a fool, they said I was running away. I did not listen to them. I realised they were rather envious that I had the courage to do what they didn’t have to do. I enrolled my daughter in a daycare while I worked 2 jobs. I paid my bills without his help. I never once called him to ask for a penny.
He thought I would not survive a day without him. He was so wrong. I even surprised myself. When weeks rolled into months and months rolled into about 2 years, he was certain that I wasn’t coming back. Then, he came looking for me and his daughter. He started supporting us financially. I collected the money because my child is entitled to it but I was not going to let him anymore into my heart and space. I know my child needs a father but she needs a good one and a healthy environment. We have been so happy just the two of us and I don’t want anything or anyone to spoil that.
He’s been begging, trying to prove that he’s a changed man. He comes around to spend time with our daughter, and provides everything she wants. How do I know that he’s truly changed? How can I tell? Don’t tell me to trust him because I don’t know what that is anymore.
My dear move into prayers ad ask God to help u ad know.
Message.. Son or daughter? Anywaz as for me I don’t go back to my vomit. He never value u now he knws u can survive he wants u back? Pls my dear he best advice here is de one u gv to urself so if u tink u can accept him den fine but don’t be too quick to give birth again but if u kw within u dat u dnt trust nor love him again pls still advice urself. Goodluck
My dear I must first of all salute your courage to leave and give your child a better life. But just like you have said your child needs a father figure in her life right now. So for that reason I will suggest you give it a try. Don’t just rush and move in immediately; since he said he has change you can only prove that by observing him. Try going there unannounced at night or weekends when you will know he will be home and when you get there the reception will speak volume. Also build up your self confidence & esteem that have been battered and try giving other relationship a trial too. He might not have really changed but just want to occupy that space in your life since its empty. Also pray about your reunion with your ex. And let the holy Spirit guide u through.
Please don’t go back. Men like him do not change.
I think the only way 2 know if he has changed is to conciously provoke him when he comes arround 2 see his child.His reaction will answer ur question.As 4 womanising,that one is kinda difficult now that he wants u back bcos he can suspend that till he achieves his goal.On d other hand,he was ur husband so u are in a better position 2 know wat to look out 4.
don’t rush and accept him, cos if u do, u will rush out again, dt is not our prayer. Take ur time and God will see u thru
I believe change is the only constant things in life,pple changing from good to bad nd vice versa.
Madam,I suggest u still study him more to know if this change of his is real nd don’t move in immediately.
I wish best of luck.
I agreed wit what Angel Henry said infact she spoke my mind bt let me add this: listen to ur inner mind u knw him more dan us jst dnt lie to urself be honest to U
If u must pls take ur time to study him and pray abt it as well
once bitten twice shy though but dnt b hasty.he can play a father figure without moving back.bt u know him beta u decide dat
May God direct u my sister it is well with u
Ask God for direction. Doing all he does can be all pretense to get you. Study him and see
Pls don’t be too quick to accept him. He can always come around for his daughter but don’t u fall for him.
ur case is similar wit mine,my dear don’t rush back cos Dat guy is coming back cos he knows what he can get 4rm u, a man who is abusive Wil always b he is only cool bcos he wants u back take ur tym to watch him closely even 4 d next one yr at least, God Wil c u Tru!
Let God decide!!
Spending time with his daughter is not the same as spending time with you. May the LORD guide you to make the right decision.
You can’t know for sure. It’s a risk you have to decide if u want to take
Err… Wat exactly made him change? did he go for counselling? Under go therapy? Pls don’t b decived cos dis time around. He just may graduate frm verbal abuse. To physical violence, dats the next stage. Pls shine ur eye. Very welllll
thank Godd for your courage. Let God lead, guide & direct your on the steps to take my dear so that you wont make the same mistake twice. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you by seeking the face of God in prayers. You have to be alife & healthy for your child my dear.bravo & kudos!
A cheat is always a cheat, they neva change, pls move on wit ur life but don’t deny him d right 2 see and spend time with his daughter.
I believe he has changed since he hasn’t settle down with another woman. Please him a chance to make things right. May God help you through.
Which kin mumu change,PDP to APC?Abeg b careful
He has not changed… its your resolve over the years that is seducing him.
I love ur courage girl and the fact that ur not in a hurry to jump into his arms. He respects u a lot now simply cos u proved to him that ur capable of caring for both urself and ur baby. Let him continue begging. I’m sure he has realised that ur better than others that’s why he’s coming back for you. Well, whatever u decide, never quit ur job and don’t be in a hurry to get pregnant again or renew ur marriage vows.
Don’t go back to your vomit, he has seen you’re better off alone and can survive without him. He’s on a mission to make you miserable in a bigger way. So continue the way you are and wait for a better option.
Tink well nd follow ur heart,only u cn advice urself,
In this case, please do not rush into his arms again. I wont say that you cannot love him again because God has created you to be able to forgive and forget. If you have the gift to forgive him and then forget without any condition attached, please go ahead and accept his proposal again. Remember that those that marry will have tribulation in their flesh according to the Bible. But that is not the reason not to marry. It means you can work together and make the marriage work.
don’t be in a hurry rather let God guide you through
Please it’s better to be single and happy than to be in a bad marriage. Life is short and we only live once.
give it enough time…..dont rush
My sister I admire ur courage, I wish all women would hv that courage. Pls my little advice is that do not give him any chance again otherwise he would treat u even more bad but don’t deny him of her child. For all u know he might be having a contagious disease because of his womanising.