Dear MIMsters: He didn’t tell me he was married. Now, I’m in a dilemma!

I’m 24 years and in a dilemma.

I got pregnant when I was in the University in 2012. I gave birth to the child but refused to marry her dad because I realised he was irresponsible. My parents took care of my child so I could continue with my education. In the latter part of 2014, I met a man who showed interest in me. We became friends and later lovers.

This man was different from the rest. He’s everything any woman could ask for. This man never pressured me for sex. Our relationship was sex free till one evening when I visited him at his office. That was the first time we had sex and after some months, I realised I was pregnant again. This man accepted the pregnancy and has taken responsibility till date. He even came forward with his people to marry me (we are yet to sign at court). We got married recently.

The problem is I just got to know the man has a legally wedded wife. There were no traces so I never suspected him. When I confronted him, he told me he’s sorry and that he will tell his wife about the child and I so that we all live as a big happy family. He said his wife is from Togo and she will not have any problem with him having a second wife because her culture accepts polygamy. But, I don’t want to be a second wife.

I’m hurt and confused. Why are men so wicked? We lived together but he usually leaves the house for days with the excuse of going on business trips. And since he’s a business tycoon, I never thought twice about his trips.

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Meanwhile, I’ve known another young man for close to 2 years now. Months ago, he told me he loved me and wants to marry me. He knows about my first child but when I got pregnant with my second, I hid it from him and didn’t see him throughout my pregnancy.

After giving birth, I told him and he was very hurt and disturbed. Right now, I’m so confused as to whether to leave my husband and get married to the young guy, stay married to my husband and deal with being a second wife or I should leave my husband and enjoy my single life. Why are men so wicked? I’m very confused and don’t know what to do. Please advice me.