“I Was Beaten to the Altar on My Wedding Day” – Survivor of Domestic Violence Shares Her Inspiring Story
Some months ago, Nkiruka Cara Okoro, a domestic violence survivor shared her inspiring story about being a survivor of an abusive marriage.
“The cane they use to flog first wife is always at the back of the door waiting for the 2nd wife. Ladies learn to ask questions before you become his next ….. Am happy she is feeling my pain and even worse,” she wrote on her wall.
Below is Nkiruka’s survivor story…
“Yes that is my ex husband and I, I was just 19 years on that photo. you can see the innocence in my eyes. We were perfect, very perfect, outside but we fought inside .
You see that smile on that picture was plastic. I was beaten to the alter on my wedding day. What happened because I was tired and refused to pack plate. I swallowed it and matched to the alter. With tears In my eyes the pastor asked will you take him as your husband for better for worse , till death do you part?? Tears rolled down my eyes but the crowd clapped, screaming tears of joy.
I embarked on the journey of marriage. At the age of 19 years I endured like a lion. This fine young man here is an animal. He beat me up and even beat up my younger once. The day he beat me to coma, he was beating my lifeless body before he was stopped and I was rushed to the hospital.
Do you know what my mother in law told me as I gained consciousness, she said (Nkiru, lucky will beat you again o, get ready cause the father beat me too). I went back into coma. He begged and I went back home .
This continued until I decided to face reality. But the truth is, do you know why we women endure domestic violence ???
1) Financial security. Yes I was scared to leave because I did not know how to begin financially.
2) Society. Yes after bragging to my friends and society see you as a lucky perfect girl you will want to keep it that way.
3) Loneliness… Yes you are scared if u will find someone better. I was saying who will marry me again, with my boobs like this, stretch marks, milk was still coming out of my boobs as of then, my big tummy, etc, I was insecure, so I stayed. Until one day, I woke and took a strong decision to walk away. And when I left, I left with nothing.
I left empty handed and embarked on the journey.I kept repeating my name, Nkiruka, Nkiruka, Nkiruka (my future is bigger ) until I reached my destination. Now I can hit my chest and tell myself I took the right step, even though I never knew where I was going.”
Photo credit: Nkiruka Instagram/Dreamstime
Glad you took the bold step, you only got one life.
Thank God she left.
There is no rocket science to this. Men that beat their partners took after their fathers. They watched the drama and it affected them psychologically. They grow up believing women should be beaten to submission while the girls grow up believing it’s ok to endure the beatings(after all na till death do you part). Yet you’ll keep hearing ‘I’m enduring because of my children’
U r Right dear but sometimes u need to check/see how the young man reacts to his father beating his mother,if he doesn’t like/support the father then dia is a probability that he may be different.
thank God for her
wise woman
wise woman…
My dear Nikki I love ur bold determination
I was your husband’s colleague back then in UBA ,trans amadi,. He was very hot tempered and with a short fuse but he was always put in his place. I am happy you escaped with your life though but my dear you also need to change your ways. you are a very haughty and proud woman. I remember once we came as colleagues to celebrate your ex’s birthday and you my dear treated us like scum!
I wish you well!
Na wao…. Thank God for you!