Dads’ Profile: Asuku Musa Shares On Parenting His Lovely Girls & More

Asuku Musa is married to Tolulope, and they have two lovely girls; Omorihiosimi and Ohunene. The doting dad opens up on parenting his girls and more.

How has your background influenced your parenting style?

“My dad was a soldier and a strict disciplinarian. If we got injured back in the days, we couldn’t tell him because of the interrogation and possible beating that will follow. To a large extent, my father’s strict nature has rubbed off on me. I think it’s a bit on the extreme because my wife complains sometimes that I spank the kids too much. She is also strict but hardly spanks.

I make sure I instill moral uprightness in them; I don’t tolerate lying or ‘taking’ things that don’t belong to them. The positive is that my dad emphasized and supported our education, so I would definitely do more for my kids.”

Core parenting values

“My first value as a parent is to keep God as the foundation and center of everything. The second is to live by example. I can’t expect my daughter not to lie and then tell a lie to her face. Finally, be content with what you have and don’t make decisions based on what you see in other families because you don’t know what is going on behind the walls.”

Top three parenting thrills and challenges

“One of the challenges was getting my daughters to stop sucking. In trying to get Osimi to stop, she developed another bad habit; pressing her navel while sucking. We almost gave up but kept on when Nene took on the same habit of sucking. They still haven’t stopped but they have reduced it to only when they are asleep, when they have no control. Another challenge is coping with them when I take them out. They ask for everything and throw tantrums if they don’t get what they want. I have to scold them even though I don’t enjoy doing that outside, but I don’t want to spoil them.

Having to hold conversations and playing with them are thrills. And then there are times when they want me to do things for them instead of their mum; it’s a thrill.

My younger daughter didn’t start talking as early as Osimi. She talks now but her words are not really clear. She also likes drawing. She drew a flower in a vase the other day and it was surprisingly good for her age. Osimi likes music. She was among the outstanding students last term. Then, being able to provide for their needs. All these are major thrills for me.”

Usual bonding activities with your children

“I bathe and dress them up on most week days and prepare them for school. We play a lot, and the fact that I can be quite playful makes it more fun for them. I also assist with their home work.”

What makes a great dad?

“A good dad should spend time with his kids, listen to them and solve the problems they bring instead of pushing them off to their mother. Buying expensive toys and gadgets for them is not going to solve their problems or guide them through life. Like Asa asked in one of her songs, ‘Who’s responsible for how we raise our children? Is it the internet or stars on television?’”

What do you wish you’d done or could do differently as a dad?

“I wish I could spend more time with them but most importantly, I wish I could change the way I scold them. Although I am not as harsh as my dad, I still feel I am too harsh with them. I’m trying.”

The secret to raising well-rounded kids in your opinion

“Spend time with God together. We always pray together in the morning. We also pray together in the night if they are not asleep. Try as much as possible to listen to them, communicate and solve issues together. At least one parent should be available at any given time to listen and share with them. They should also be encouraged to mix with people to keep them socially relevant and maintain a healthy worldview.”