Dear MIMsters: “What can I do before this child kills me?”
Please advice me before this child kills me.
About 6 years ago, my ex and I had a male child together but when he turned 2 years-old, my ex and I parted ways due to some parental and inlaw issues. It was a very complicated one and I was not ready to apologise to his parents, hence the need to go on our separate ways.
Our son has lived with me while my ex carries out his fatherly responsibilities toward him and visits to check on him once in a while. When my son was 2.5 years, my ex would tell me that he would love to take the child to his parents on a weekend sometime, to go and greet them, maybe 1 weekend every 6 months.
He suggested on a Saturday to return on Sunday but I didn’t accept to release my son. I saw it as a tactics to take the child away from me forever. I even suggested to go with them but he said no that his parents don’t even want to see me, so I turned down his requests.
The third time he talked about it again, I turned his request down and he said he can no longer continue being a father to my son if he would not have only a day or 2 to spend with him alone once in like 6 months.
I asked for his reasons to take the child for 1 day or 2 and said because he needs sometime alone him to groom his behaviour because he’s turning out to be stubborn if not properly handled. He also said that when he turns 6, he would like to have full custody because there is no way I would be able to control him again since I often pamper him, being a single mother.
To cut the story short, I disagreed with him on this and he stopped all his responsibilities towards our son. He told me that I could go on and change his surname, because he won’t have our child tarnishing his name if he grows to become unruly. He told me the day I will look for him everywhere to hand over the child to him when I can no longer handle his stubborness, and that day would be too late because the child would be too hard for him to control. I just thought he was playing pranks and didn’t listen, and he cut all forms of communication with me
I took full responsibility of the child but truly, when my son turned 6 this month, I discovered I could no longer control him at 6 years because I’ve been pampering him. I’ve been trying to establish communication with his dad but all my efforts have proven abortive. He chased me away from his house because he had told me earlier that’s what he would do if we ever find him.
I just thought the child would be my companion since I don’t want to marry but now I know that if I don’t do something about this boy, I might not be able to tell the tale when he is done with me. I fear he would kill me some day. Whenever he asks about his father, I tell him his father is fine but he doesn’t want to see us, and I don’t know where he lives anymore. His parents have moved, so I don’t know where they live now. Please what can I do before this child kills me!
Main reason over pampering a child will do the child no good, try by showing love, open up, and tell him the truth. Please find time to look for your ex, also let your parent be aware of this development
How can a 6 years old child kill you? Just say you are tired of caring for your child. What can a 6years old possibly do that you can’t handle? If you like give them your child oh and regret in the future all in the name of stubbornness. Every child is stubborn regardless of how they are raised. When you knew you were spoiling him as a single mom, why didn’t you stop? Abegi you just dey find excuse. On a second thought, how did your ex know at 6 he would be uncontrollable? Maybe him and his family have gone to do something. Please don’t stop praying for your son to turn out well. Forget your ex and his parents jawe. His he saying twice in a year that he wants to be with the child would make the child not be stubborn? Akuko.
I guess you are afraid of the unknownYou have been playing back in your head what your ex said and its actually coming to passTry hard now to locate your ex and let him carry on with his fatherly responsibility;including letting him have custody for some period.The truth is you cannot deprive him of his son especially when he was carrying out his fatherly responsibility,in addition put aside ego
You didn’t even state how the boy is planning to kill you and what he does that prompted that kinda assumption. What will a 6 year old do that can over power a mother? What in God’s name are you insinuating? Madam tame your over pampered spoilt brat and stop being negative.
I don’t get you on this.
How come a 6year old wants to kill you?
Dear lady, my advice to you would be to sit up and discipline the child. he is only six! what if you were a widow will your son go to waste? Single mothers in various situations and capacities have raised responsible children.You need to be strong and disciplined yourself and do the job NOW before he becomes a teenager! Stop moaning, wake up and do your work.Even women in marriages nurture and discipline the children; what with the father gone all day only to return in the evening after a hard days job.Do not push your responsibility to another. its your job!my dear,DO it!God will help you,ask him. Cheers!