5 Parenting ‘Fails’ That are Actually Wins

Failure goes hand-in-hand with learning. If you must be successful, you must first know how to fail, as there is no short-cut to achieving your goals. Parents often forget this, as they strive to provide their children with the best things in life, and shield them from a lot of mistakes. Being hard on your child, within reasonable limits builds confidence and strength. Some of the things you may consider failures, are actually wins in the end. See some below:

1. FAIL: Letting your kids experience the natural consequences of their actions.

Why It’s a WIN: “Parents often want to protect kids from anything upsetting, but letting them experience natural consequences for their behaviors is often the most important teaching they can do,” says Brittany Barber Garcia, Ph.D., pediatric psychologist at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. In this light, when a parent saves a child from bearing the consequences of their actions, no matter how little, it robs them of the opportunity to learn that every action has consequences, and to avoid the negative ones, you must do what is right.

2. Not responding to your kids immediately when they interrupt a conversation.

Why It’s a WIN: Parents often times feel that they are being too hard on their little ones or toddlers when ever they interrupt a conversation, and they are not immediately answered. It is however far from a fail, because you will teach that child impeccable manners, respect, and a healthy dose of real-world interaction.

3. Letting kids make some not-so-great choices in friends.

Why It’s a WIN: This might be very extreme to some parents, but lets say that your son is friends with a child who leaves a mess whenever he is in your house, breaks toys and is rude. Instead of breaking your child away from the friend and have to deal with an unhappy toddler who would only feel that mummy is mean, have your child start taking responsibilities for that friend. When that child leaves a mess, have your son clean it up, he breaks something, start taking it from his pocket money. This way, your son will learn as he grows older that his friends were his choice and if it wasn’t working out, it is up to him choose differently.

4.  Not cleaning up after them

Why It’s a WIN: “Parents should give younger children chores like cleaning their rooms and taking out their trash to get them to be more self-sufficient as they age,” says Stacy Haynes, Ed.D., LPC, ACS, a counseling psychologist and author of Powerful Peaceful Parenting: Guiding Children, Changing Lives. Life skills start early, so don’t wait until they’re older to start assigning chores to them. Letting children take responsibility for their own rooms and spaces, is a good way to start.

5. FAIL: Letting children engage in risky play

Why It’s a WIN: “When a baby learns to walk, she falls down dozens of times, but eventually gains confidence, learns to walk, and realizes her limitations,” says Mary Beth Somich, MA, Ed.M., LPCA, a Licensed Professional Child & Family Therapist in Wake Forest. “Within reasonable limits, risky play is the same thing. This isn’t irresponsible parenting, but a way of building a child’s confidence. A parent who hovers and doesn’t allow risky play contributes to the development of an anxious child,” says Mary Beth.