Dear Mimster: Am I Making A Hasty Decision About My Marriage?
Please tell me if I am making a hasty decision after reading my dilemma.
I’m the woman who posted sometime ago about slapping my hubby back so hard he bled after he slapped me because of a girl. Now, my hubby and I agreed to build our own house and move in later this year. The agreement was that he would use his money to build while I use mine to take care of the house including paying the house help.
We also agreed on the amount of money to be used every month. For the past 4 months, I’ve been doing my part of the agreement while hubby has been dragging his feet. He gives me excuses when I confront him. I really want the best for my kids, so I cook for them. He will come home from work to eat knowing very well he didn’t give any money.
This girlfriend of his insulted me during one of their chats, calling me an illiterate bitch which got me so pissed. (I’m a working graduate doing my 2nd degree whilst she is a HND holder). I just discovered recently that my hubby was still in contact with this girl again. He also goes online to search for other women. I confronted him calmly on the issue yesterday. I realised he was so embarrassed so decided to hide behind his ego to talk trash to me. He got angry and left me all alone at the restaurant where we went to talk. It was late and I had to get home all by myself. This is a man who is extremely jealous of my movements and decides who talks to me and who shouldn’t. He’s highly temperamental and egoistic.
I have removed my ring, and decided to rent an apartment somewhere and move out because he has once told me that I will push him to kill me one day and I’m one person who doesn’t take threats lightly. My reasons are just a few outlined below…
1. He doesn’t respect, value and care about me.
2. I can’t compete with another woman over a man. My life is worth much more than that.
3.He might carry out his threats one day.
4. I don’t like being at a place am not needed.
I really want to move on and take my kids with me for good.
While praying for discernment from the Holy Spirit, I will like you mums in the house to advise me, am I making a hasty decision?
No you are not sweetie. I love you for standing up to him and not allowing him ridicule you anyhow. If you want to, you can get a place and be separated for a while from him maybe then he will realize your worth and come begging. But if you are not going to do that eventually, then please stop fending for the family until you see he is serious to start the building project. I just hope this is not a ploy for him to transfer his responsibilities to you because 4 months is too much to be dragging his feet. All the best.
Dear poster, i will have done the same thing if i were in yr shoes. you are too precious to fight over a man with another lady, dont forget you are fearfully and wonderfully made by your creator, if he wont respect you as a wife dont bother explaining yourself, thank God you are working. concerntrate on your children and leave than man alone. let him know that you can be OK without him..remember there is no marriage in heaven and on Jugdement day you will not be judged as Mrs soso n so but an individual.
My dear, if ur career is well paying den turn d table around, choose d other side of d coin, let him fend for d family while u start d building project remember its for d interest of ur kids, if u have more Dan a kid for him u might not necessarily move out except in d case of physical voilenceviolence, just politely tell him u switch, starting a building project is not as expensive as completing it, wen u raise to litel level switch back let him complete it, gives u an edge over d house too, cause running a home is also quite expensive too, may God give u more wisdom as u pray abt it, all d best dear.
Don’t sweat for a man that doesn’t give a horse shit about you